Vincelli: Party of 6

Vincelli: Party of 6

Monday, October 5, 2009


My biggest anger with infertility is that it’s such a silent struggle. Most people who see others going through it don’t talk about it. It makes them uncomfortable. They don’t know what to do, they don’t know what to say, they don’t know how to act. They don’t ask. They figure not saying anything at all is a better choice. Personally, I think that’s the worst thing to do.

People going through infertility need support! They want to know that they’re not alone. And when you’re struggling with anything in life, I believe the worst thing to feel and believe is that you are truly alone.

I read on a fact sheet (from the” American Society for Reproductive Medicine”) that many women who are being treated for infertility have as much stress as women who have cancer or heart disease. I’ve often thought that infertility doesn’t receive the appropriate support from others. I’m not saying that infertility is more tragic than having cancer. Not at all. But - I’ve often thought it is very disappointing how individuals who have a medical condition, such as cancer, often get a lot of verbal and face-to-face support from family and friends, and even people who do not know you at all.

Infertility is also a medical condition, but it oftentimes does not receive that same support. Why is there such a difference? I think it’s because infertility needs to be shown to the world. People need to realize the extent of it’s pain and suffering. They don’t understand how much of a heart wrenching and traumatic experience it truly is. I know it may not make sense to you, looking at it from the “outside” (if you have not gone through infertility personally), but I can assure you, it is more complex than you imagine.

I hope someday infertility steps out from it’s category of being a “silent struggle.”

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