FEELING EXCITED, FEELING SCARED

I went back reading through these last months of my blog and I realized it seems that I sure do complain a lot! But, at the same time, I’m just mostly reporting symptoms, which of course, are going to be negative. Even though incubating two babies in a multiple pregnancy is very difficult, I wouldn’t change it for a second. Even though there are lots of pains, I do love the “yuck” of pregnancy. I wanted and prayed for this for so long, after all! And I’d go through anything to have a precious baby in my arms.

As the weeks have gone by, and now with less than 5 weeks left, my thoughts are going all over the place. I’m so thankful, overjoyed, and excited for the babies to arrive. But I’m also very scared, anxious, and insecure. I want to be a good mother. I want to be able to give each of them everything they need. I know I have more than enough love for two babies, but how do I equally split my time between them? And I realize this is hard to do with just one baby, yet alone two. Do I have everything prepared that we physically need? Am I emotionally ready?

I'm starting to think more and more about the actual delivery too. How is it all going to work? Will I deliver here? Will it be vaginally or by c-section? (Let's really hope not BOTH!) Will I be okay? And most importantly, will both babies be okay?

I just keep praying that God will hold us all close and give me the strength to handle everything. I’ve read from multiple sources that mothers of multiples have a higher risk of post partum depression. And to make that chance even higher, add mothers that have gone through IVF to become pregnant and that jumps up to a 75% chance of having post partum depression. So I qualify in both areas. This really terrifies me.

I know it will be hard, but I know it will all be okay. Like the poem below, it will be double the work, but with double the blessings!

Twenty fingers, twenty toes.
Plenty of work, heaven knows!
Four little arms to hold tight.
Four little cheeks to kiss night-night!

People say things to me, like “twins are double trouble.” And that just doesn’t help calm me. But then I saw a quote that reads, “Not double trouble, but twice blessed.” I prefer that one much better!

My youngest sister emailed a few weeks ago and wrote, "To think...those babies were nothing but a hope at the beginning of this year and now they are actually gonna be here! And really really soon!!" And she's so right! That is just amazing!! It makes all those years of trying and hoping and praying seem so long ago. To think these precious babies were just a glimmer of hope for so many years, but will soon be making their appearance. Nick and I are both so thankful and feel so blessed. Our new family is about to be born...to God be the glory!

WEEK 33 - 34 SYMPTOM UPDATE

Week 33:
I’ve been very emotional this week. I’ve checked out movies from the library to watch during my 2 hours of rest everyday, and I think I’ve cried during every one. We also had a group of friends (3 couples) over with a total of 10 children this week. I lost it halfway through the evening and had to leave the room because I suddenly started crying out of no where and couldn’t stop. I think it just hit me that I’m really scared about handling 2 babies. I just couldn’t control the tears or make it stop. Why would that happen right in the middle of everyone being there and not after? I’m an emotional mess!

My Braxton Hicks contractions continue to be uncomfortable. My entire left side of my stomach now feels like a giant bruise. My OBGYN says it’s most likely from how Baby B is positioned higher up pushing and pulling on everything. This makes lying on my left side difficult as it is extremely tender. Needless to say, sleeping has become more painful. I just can’t seem to get comfortable at all. I’m still getting up about every 2 hours to go to the bathroom. I’ve also been waking up a lot earlier in the morning as well. Sometimes I awake at 5:30am and can’t get back to sleep. Guess my body is getting me ready for no sleep with the twins!

Here I am at 33 weeks pregnant with twin boys!



Week 34:
I’m sad to report that the dreaded stretch marks have arrived this week. I can’t really see under below my belly button, but as I was rubbing lotion on, caught a glimpse of stretch marks in the mirror. I couldn’t believe it. I got out a hand mirror to take a closer look and yup, there they were. There was no mistaking it! For some reason I really thought I wouldn’t get them. Not that I believe in the magical powers of the cocoa butter cream I rub on my stomach every evening, as I’ve read stretch marks are mostly hereditary. Both my mom and sister didn’t get any, so I thought I was totally in the clear. I told my doctor that and he laughed at me and said anyone pregnant with multiples is not going to make it without stretch marks unless they deliver very early! I guess that makes sense. I will now think of them as my war wounds! Not like I’ll be wearing a bikini ever again anyway, right?!

My back is sore more often than not. The weight of my stomach is just starting to be too much! I’ve packed on a total of 39 pounds thus far. My body is just all out of whack. I’m assuming this is the cause of my extreme clumsiness as well. I often drop things, run into things, or trip. I keep telling Nick to never let me complain about my body again when I’m not pregnant. I really take for granted simple health of being able to sit and sleep without pains. Or just being able to go outside for a nice walk. Oh, how I’d love to do that right now.

34 WEEK APPOINTMENT

Just a quick update today on my doctor’s appointment. All is well! I have gained another 6 pounds since my last appointment 2.5 weeks ago. This makes for a total of 39 pounds gained so far in this pregnancy! The babies’ heartbeats were just fine. And my fundal height is measuring at 45.5 centimeters. So…big…very, very, very big.

My blood pressure is back normal again to what it’s been the entire pregnancy. (Last appointment it was higher than it normally is for me.) So, I had to give a urine sample to test for Proteinuria, which is basically protein in your urine, which can be a sign of preeclampsia. My OB wanted to check this since at my last appointment, my blood pressure was higher than normal for me. But all is fine. (Oh, and speaking of peeing in a cup when you are very pregnant - hummm...well, it's interesting. Without going into much detail, just imagine what it's like to pee in a cup when you can't see past your belly!! Yes...interesting, very interesting!)

We talked a little more about a “birth plan.” And from where our doc found the heartbeats, he’s still assuming both babies are head down, so ready for a vaginal delivery. At this point we’re planning on a vaginal delivery, but there are so many things that can come up with twins, so I’m just nervous about the whole thing. Delivering one baby has got to be nerve-wracking enough, yet alone two!! I'm trying to tell myself that whatever happens is supposed to happen and all will be okay!

My doctor is very pleased with everything and hoping that we make it through the next 2 weeks just fine. (Because then we can stay and deliver here in town. If I go into labor before 36 weeks, we have to go over to the Mayo Clinic. And he said he only gets to actually deliver 30% of his twin pregnancies, because most go into labor early and are sent over to Mayo!) I keep joking with him that I'm going to make it to 36 weeks, just for him!!

He said it's a great accomplishment to make it to 34 weeks with no bed rest or no major medical issues (other than common pregnancy symptoms) for someone carrying multiples. He said I should be very proud. And I am proud! And I feel so very blessed. I must have a uterus of steel! HA!

THE DUELING BABIES IN MY BELLY

The babies are moving around tremendously. I've felt their movements since around week 22, I believe it was. But they have consistently just become stronger and stronger! At times, the movements I feel do not stop for minutes. They just keep moving and moving. And it comes from both sides. I call them “dueling babies.” Not that I think they're fighting....but that they’re playing! You can see my stomach moving all over from the outside. Oftentimes it feels like they’re rolling around back and forth across my entire belly. Then at times, it’s just a giant poke and then I poke back and we go back and forth.

Whenever Nick puts his hand on my stomach, the boys move. I think they know when someone, especially Nick, is there on the outside. And if he talks to them, I’d say about 80% of the time, they start moving around. It’s so precious! The babies always seem to move when my niece, Ava, puts her hand on my stomach as well. They love her!

Sometimes these movements truly take my breath away. I sort of gasp for air when they move fast and hard. I even wake up at night and jump, when they kick so hard! It’s such an amazing feeling that I’m going to miss after they are out in the real world. Nick joked that they are trying to perform a “reverse c-section” by clawing with their nails from the inside….and that’s what I’m feeling and they’re trying to get out. Now that’s a pleasant thought! SCARY! AHH!!

I was recently talking with someone about when babies have hiccups while you are pregnant. I didn’t think I had ever felt that and thought it’d be a neat experience to feel. Then tonight, I think it happened for the first time. My entire belly would shake, consistently for a few minutes. It sure felt like what hiccups from inside the baby would most likely feel like. Amazing!!

Lessons That Infertility has Taught Me

I found this in a word document that I wrote sometime in 2009. Glad I found it so I could add it to the blog! :)

Lessons That Infertility has Taught Me

I’ve learned there are many who will not understand.
But there are a few who will.
Those few will help me make it through.

I’ve learned that everyone fights their own battles.
And that everyone has their own separate burdens to bear.
God will not give you anything you cannot handle.

I’ve learned it’s okay to admit I’m hurting. It’s okay to let others in.
God gets more glory when people know I really am in a storm,
Because He’s the only reason I’m making it through.

I’ve learned that even through the many moments of sadness,
There is always a small glimpse of joy.
Even the smallest amount of joy will carry me through.

I’ve learned that I feel like no knows exactly how I feel.
There is one who knows exactly I feel.
That only one is God.

I’ve learned that I believe everything happens for a reason.
And I desperately wish I knew what this reason was.
God works miracles in unanswered prayers.

I’ve learned there are many times I feel as if I have no strength left.
But God’s strength is perfect in my times of weakness.
He will keep me strong.

I’ve learned that infertility doctors are not always encouraging.
They are not always right either.
I will trust in God, not in my doctors.

I’ve learned that my heart will break when another’s baby is born.
And I will feel bad for feeling that way, but I also feel true hope.
That hope will be enough to carry me through.

I’ve learned that people will say foolish things to try to encourage you.
These things will only make you feel much worse.
And I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone.

I’ve learned that even amongst the hardest time I’ve ever faced,
I cannot compare my life to others too much.
You have no idea what their journey is all about.

I’ve learned that people will say, “Just stop trying and it will happen.”
Or “Have fun with it.”
What a joke that is.

I’ve learned that if I close my eyes
And open my heart,
God’s comfort is waiting there.

I’ve learned to appreciate the many blessings I have.

I’ve learned that some battles you have to fight alone.

I’ve learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be.

I’ve learned to take one day at a time.

I’ve learned to trust in God’s time, not mine.

I've learned that prayers are answered, but not in the ways we've imagined.

I’ve learned that there is always hope.
And there is always faith.
And there is always love…

I believe in miracles.

WEEK 30 - 32 SYMPTOM UPDATE

Week 30:
I’ve been asked a lot of questions about food cravings and aversions during my pregnancy. Fortunately I haven’t really had any. There’s been a few foods that I haven’t liked the smell of, such as the browning of turkey meat. And I wouldn’t necessarily say I’ve had any cravings. Although I have noticed that I love, love, love FRUIT. I just can’t seem to get enough of it. But it’s not a food craving where if we don’t have any, I make Nick run to the store to get it! And icecream...but I always love icecream so I’m not counting that either!

I just have to pose this question that I know (okay, I HOPE) most of you who have been pregnant can totally relate to. I’m now to the point where not much maternity clothing fits me anymore and even the very select few that do, it still just doesn’t feel comfortable. In fact, I just want to be naked. And bras are the worst. I feel suffocated. I lay down and my clothing shifts weird making it too hard to move the fabrics of your clothes around. Not to mention I’m so hot all the time so clothes just make it worse. Even loose fitting pants feel tight on my lower abdomen. I feel like I’m smooshing the babies. It’d be much easier to just walk around naked. If I had good shades in our house, I probably would. HA!

Week 31:
This week we were on our annual golf vacation with the Vincelli family. I tried to take it easy with lots of lying around and swimming in the pool. I barely walked at the golf course. But I still felt and experienced a lot of Braxton-Hicks Contractions. It’s not painful, just very tight and uncomfortable. Everyone says you don’t need to worry until they develop into a pattern and if there’s more than 5 in an hour. But it still doesn’t make sense to me. How do you know when it’s time to call a doctor?

I’m also losing control over my basic fine motor skills. In other words, my fingers just don’t work! I find myself dropping more and more things. On our last day of vacation, I spilt a glass of milk down my entire leg and feet at breakfast. Then an hour later, while packing up the car outside, I dropped a brand new large jug of virgin pina colada mix on the sidewalk. It broke and splattered everywhere. After crying for about 15 minutes, I calmed down. (Not because I thought it was alcohol abuse to have it go to waste...HA...but because I feel like I just don’t have any control anymore.)

Week 32:
I had a little scare this week as I was carrying a laundry basket down the stairs. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I basically missed the last step and fell down the last stair. I landed on my knees, so it wasn’t bad, but it did hurt. My doctor said that women's ligaments really change during pregnancy. He said you can just be walking and your ankles give out. That fact made me feel a little better! Although for days afterward there was a sharp pain on my left side. It felt like a giant bruise. I’m not sure if a pulled a muscle or hit it on the basket when I fell. But that area definitely felt painful and it hurt to twist or lay on it.

I’m bummed to say that my fall hay fever allergies have arrived as well. I was really hoping that maybe this year they would stay way. I read that sometimes in pregnancy, you don’t experience your normal allergies. No such luck. So, now I have swollen and itchy, red eyes. I’m sneezing like crazy and blowing my nose every hour. And those sneezes, I can feel throughout my entire body…it hurts!! I don’t think the babies are enjoying that. I know I can still take medications, but I’m not going to unless I can’t take it anymore.

TOP 10 THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT PREGNANCY

1.) Having two miracles grow inside of me
2.) Feeling the babies kick
3.) Smiles from strangers
4.) Special treatment
5.) Mandatory rest 2 hours every day
6.) “Expectant Mothers” parking spots at HyVee
7.) Eating for 3! (packing on those extra calories!)
8.) Being taken care of by everyone
9.) Not having to work out
10.) Listening to Nick talk to the babies inside my belly

TOP 10 THINGS I MISS ABOUT NOT BEING PREGNANT

1.) Wearing my wedding ring (my fingers are too swollen)
2.) Cute shoes (only 1 pair of flip flops fit me right now)
3.) Wine
4.) Being able to bend over and pick something up (without pain and groaning!)
5.) My feet and ankles (oftentimes they are so swollen they don’t exist)
6.) Painting my toe nails, shaving, etc.
7.) My “normal” body
8.) Sleeping though the night without back aches, stomach aches, having to get up to pee, etc. (and I really miss sleeping on my stomach!)
9.) Not feeling so much pain and being so uncomfortable!
10.) Being able to hug and cuddle with Nick without feeling uncomfortable

CAN YOU BABYSIT MY STOMACH FOR A WHILE?

Here I am at 31 weeks pregnant!

Now since I’m 32 weeks pregnant and am carrying around almost 8 pounds of babies already, I’m getting really sore and uncomfortable. The pressure in my stomach is intense. At times, I just want to remove my stomach and pass it over to a babysitter for a while. I said to my husband, Nick, “Can’t I just take this thing off for a while and you carry it around?!” Sounds horrific, I know. You’re probably thinking what a bad mother I am already. But honestly, it would be nice to have a little break from all the pressure, stress, and pain running through my entire body. It’s hard to walk and it feels like every muscle is being pulled. I’m supposed to rest a lot and take it easy, but I have so much I need to do. So, not only am I having a physical struggle with my body, but a mental one too. My brain wants to go, go, go, but my body is telling me to slow it down. However do I make both happy?

So please give me a little slack. I’ve been walking around as a full term pregnancy for over 5 weeks already and I still have 8 weeks left. Yes, I complain. Yes, I wish I didn’t complain. But I always marvel at the miracle. The more and more I think about it lately, I’ve now decided to be proud of myself and give myself a lot of credit. Incubating two babies isn’t an easy job and I think I’m doing a pretty darn good job.

Here’s to the next 8 weeks of pregnancy survival…or whenever these precious babes decide to come out into the world! I can do it!!!! I can do it!!!

32 WEEK APPOINTMENT

Today’s OBGYN appointment went great. I’ve gained another 5 pounds since my last appointment 2.5 weeks ago. Oh my! Baby A is measuring to be around 4 pounds 2 ounces (1876 grams) and Baby B is measuring to be around 3 pounds 12 ounces (1708 grams). That’s adding up to a lot of baby weight to be carrying around!! No wonder I’m so uncomfortable!

We saw the babies on ultrasound again. They’re so darn cute!! They’re always moving around...busy, busy little guys. I can’t remember which baby did this, but one kept sticking his tongue out at us. Little stinker!! They're competing for attention! And the biggest surprise of the appointment was to find out that Baby B has flipped. He’s now head down. So both babies are in good position for delivery. We shall see if they stay that way.

So, since Baby B has flipped upside down sometime within the last 2 weeks, what we thought was his head (the big mound always poking out of my stomach) was actually his butt! The area I feel the most movement in is where both of their feet are. So, they're kicking, kicking away!

Baby A is measuring at about 33 weeks (53 percentile) and Baby B is measuring at about 31 weeks 2 days (37 percentile). So all is looking great! My blood pressure was a little high, but nothing my doctor was concerned about. It was 130/80. It’s been low/normal the entire time until now. He said it’s not an issue until the lower number is in the 90’s.

My fundal height is measuring at 43 centimeters….so at 43 weeks along. Guess I’m “overdue!” HA! (Remember that a woman who gives birth to a single baby at 40 weeks measure about 36 centimeters. So, I’m big…very very very big.) My OBGYN wants me to rest on my left side with my feet up for at least 2 hours every day. I’m ordered to just try to take it easy. That is easier said than done.

We also went to the county fair the night after this appointment and I didn’t make it walking very far. Guess we’ll be staying clear of the fair this year! I did get a chocolate ice cream shake, mini donuts, and cheese curds though. I think I’m good on my nasty grease until next year’s fair!

MATERNITY PHOTOS! HAPPY 30TH TO ME!

I had a maternity pregnancy photo shoot on my 30th Birthday! My sister, Erin, took the photos. What a wonderful way to spend a few hours to help me celebrate the big 30!!

Even though I look "full term" in these photos, I'm actually only 30 weeks pregnant!

Thanks for the great photos, Erin. Such precious memories of the twins in my tummy! (Oh and a good documentation of my "fake" wedding ring since my fingers were so swollen my real wedding ring didn't fit!)

SWAGGER WAGON

Well…this wife and husband team, who have always always always said “WE’RE NEVER GETTING A MINI VAN”, have a big surprise to share. I’m sure you can guess, but yes…we bought a mini van. But it’s not really a mini van, it’s a SWAGGER WAGON. Or at least that’s what we’re calling it. The new 2011 Toyota Sienna’s slogan and commercials call them “swagger wagons.” So, even though ours isn’t new, we’re still going to use that. There’s no mini van in our garage, it’s the swagger wagon!! We traded in my precious 2007 Chevy Trailblazer for a 2010 Toyota Sienna. We couldn’t pass up such a great deal on the trade in and great deal on the van. (Which has only been used 8 months as it was a rental car.) We think it was a sign from above and meant to be.

Now, please don’t worry, because we’re still going to be cool. (Wait…is it still “cool” to say cool??) I turn 30 in a week, so I suppose this is a rite of passage. We’re officially all grown up and we’re taking convenience over style. (Although the Sienna’s are pretty fashionable, I must say.) We just knew that if I ever wanted to leave the house with the twin babies, this is the way to go. Not having to worry about doors opening out, the sliding doors that open by remote, lots of room and storage, the list goes on and on. We’re thinking ahead to survival mode. And I really feel this is going to help tremendously with carrying two infant car seats around.

I know a lot of people name their cars. I’ve never named my car by anything other than the model. Well, ours will now affectingly be known as “Camry” and “Sienna”….how original!!

Check out the Swagger Wagon video. It’s hilarious. It’s exactly how Nick and I will be.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Sienna


Here’s a goodbye photo of my baby, my Trailblazer. Goodbye, my love. I will miss you!



And here are a couple photos of the newest addition to our family – the swagger wagon. (Please prove to us that we made a wise decision!)

WEEK 27 - 29 SYMPTOM UPDATE

Week 27:
Sleeping is getting very very uncomfortable. (Although now it’s more of my tummy and back that hurt…not the pain in my legs like I’ve mentioned before. So, it’s easier to turn over than before and I’m so thankful for that!) Nick and I have switched sleeping sides of the bed, so it will be easier for me to sleep on my left side. (FYI: Sleeping on your left side during pregnancy is recommended because it benefits the baby by improving blood flow and therefore nutrients to the placenta. It also helps your kidneys efficiently eliminate waste products and fluids from your body, which in turn reduces swelling in your feet.) Our “switching sides of the bed” is due to our theory that no matter what side of the bed I’m sleeping on, I always face away from Nick. For example: I normally sleep on the left side of the bed, sleeping away from Nick on my right side. But now on the right side of the bed, I should sleep facing away from Nick on my left side.) I think it has helped a little, but I’m tired of sleeping on my left side…it just never feels comfortable anymore. I force myself to fall asleep on my left side. Then I switch back and forth between my left and right when I get up for potty breaks during the night.


Week 28:
My left hand becomes numb and my joints in my fingers are very stiff when I wake up after sleeping. I used to notice it whenever I was sleeping on my left side and figured it coincided with that. But now I’ve realized that my left hand does that when I sleep on my right side too. It goes away after a few minutes, but it’s the weirdest feeling. I also get so hot when I sleep. The ceiling fan just wasn’t cutting it anymore, so we’ve added a small fan on the shelf right next to me so

My stomach feels very tight. It’s hard to bend down and get up without moaning and feeling like I’m smooshing those poor babies. I’m sure I’ve been having Braxton Hicks contractions more and more often. No pain…just extreme tightness. It gets rock hard, and I mean rock hard!


Week 29:
For weeks, I’ve been having a stinging pain in the middle of my chest, right under my breasts. It feels like a rash, but there’s no mark on the skin. It’s not itchy, but stings and stings. It helps if I try to put a little pressure on it with my hand. My doctor said this is normal and is the cause of nerve bundles stretching inside. Crazy! Never heard of that! (But glad it’s “normal.”)

My feet still become very swollen, especially on these hot summer days. They feel so tight and bruised. If I try to rub them, it just feels like a giant bruise all over my feet.

29 WEEK OBGYN APPOINTMENT

We had another check-up today to hear the heartbeats and for me to get measured. I think I mentioned this before, but we start going to my OB every 2 weeks now, with an ultrasound every other time. I’m excited to see the boys more often. I wish I could do an ultrasound everyday. :) But no ultrasound today…next time!

It was another great appointment. Getting weighed isn’t getting much easier, but I know that means the babies are healthy. I’ve gained 3 pounds in the last 2 weeks. That puts me up to 28 pounds gained so far in this pregnancy of 29 weeks. Their heartbeats were good and strong, in the 140’s as usual. My fundal height is measuring 38.5 inches, which means - 38.5 weeks. This means that I am now officially bigger than full term for a singleton pregnancy. (A woman who is 40 weeks pregnant with a single baby usually measures at 36 weeks.) What does this mean? Well, I can’t get much bigger in that direction, but I’ll start spreading to the sides. And everyone tells me that I don’t look pregnant from the back. Which is true – my babies bump is all in the front and nothing on the sides. So will I loose that? We shall see!

So, here I am at 29 weeks with 11 weeks to go. And I’m experiencing everything a full term woman with a single baby is feeling. This pretty much means I have 11 weeks left of feeling “full term.” HOLY COW!!! It’s sort of like I skipped my whole 2nd trimester, going straight from the 1st to the 3rd. And the 3rd is lasting 6 months, instead of 3. Everyone told me their 2nd trimester was great and they felt wonderful with so much energy. Ha…I WISH!

Good thing I haven’t experienced a previous singleton pregnancy, or else I may be freaking out. Cause this just feels “normal” to me, as I don’t have anything else personally to compare it to. Does this mean if I have a future singleton pregnancy, it’s gonna seem so easy? Ha…who knows?!

My doctor confirmed that this is in fact true. (That I am feeling at this point what someone feels in their last weeks of pregnancy.) I then asked him if it was acceptable to tell others fact that, hoping they’d give me lots of sympathy. He said I can sure try, but it probably won’t work! And he said once the babies come, it for sure won’t be about me anymore. Everyone will just care for the babies. Thus, he told me to milk it for all it’s worth now!

So, if I complain to get a little sympathy, please give it to me. HA! Just don’t say what my older sister always tells me, “It’s only going to get worse!” And I assure her that payback is a $*%&@! (wink, wink)

TWIN BOY NURSERY

We are almost finished with the nursery. As if that's a surprise to anyone, since I'm such a planner. We’ve been working on it little by little for the past month and a half. Of course there are more personalized things I want to hand make after the babies arrive, but for right now, I’m so in love with it! The room is so very very teeny tiny as it can barely hold the two cribs, a bookcase, and a dresser. But it’s just perfect. And the earth toned safari animal theme turned out adorable.

Walking past the nursery and peeking in just warms my heart. I don't know when I will really believe it's all "really happening!!" Especially now with Baby Showers occurring, we are receiving more precious baby goodies and supplies. Seeing it filling with all the toys, books, and baby clothes is amazing. I love washing the clothes and folding the little teeny tiny outfits. I've imagined doing that for a long time and now that it's happening, I just smile and smile! How can those clothes be so tiny...I love it!

Here are a few photos below of the nursery in progress. (I’ll post more of the finished nursery later, as not everyone has seen it in person that we want to see it yet!)

Example photo of the nursery theme:

Nick putting together the cribs!

Painting:





Border:

Nick working on saying on wall:

GLUCOSE TEST & 27 WEEK ULTRASOUND DAY

Today was my glucose test at the clinic. I've heard so many people complain about how ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING the juice is that you have to drink. And how they could barely swallow it, almost threw up, were sick to their stomachs for the whole day, etc. etc. I was a little worried, but told myself beforehand that “who cares, I've been through worse.” So, naturally expecting and fearing the worst, when I arrived to the lab, I started downing that thing without stopping, just so I wouldn’t have any time to taste it. Eventually I had to stop to breath and I was amazingly surprised when I realized this didn't really taste that bad. It just tastes like really strong sugary Kool-Aid or something. Or maybe really flat pop. Of course it’s not something I’d voluntarily choose to drink, but it wasn’t disgusting like everyone had said. (BTW: they did give me a choice of orange or fruit punch. I chose orange since that’s what others have recommended to me. Seemed to be a good choice!) Afterward, it did leave a weird coating in my throat and I did feel a tiny bit uneasy and weak. Although, I think that’s mostly because you have to fast and not eat anything after midnight the night before the test. So, I was starving!! My ultimate conclusion regarding the glucose test is one of two things - that either I must have a really strong stomach or else everyone else is just really really wimpy. Could be a little of both. HA HA!

Then off Nick and I went upstairs to fit in my ultrasound appointment with our OBGYN before heading back down for my blood test. And what a wonderful appointment it was! We were so happy to see those little babes again. Their heartbeats are great, measuring right around 140. Baby A weighs about 2 pounds 2 ounces (998 grams) and Baby B weighs about 2 pounds 3 ounces (999 grams). That puts the boys in the 41 percentile. 50% is “normal” for a singleton. So, a little smaller than “normal” but that is just fine for twins.

I’ve gained 5 pounds since my last appointment 3 weeks ago, which is obviously over than the suggested “1 pound gain a week” at this point for singletons! But again – this is twins, so I’m going to gain more. I’m starting to feel more okay with that fact, although I’d be kidding myself if I said it wasn’t hard to see those numbers creep up on the scale (creep up…wait a minute…who am I kidding?, they’re not creeping…they’re jumping on fast, taking hold, and weighing me down!!)

And…drum roll please…I am measuring…36 weeks!! So since I’m about full term size for a singleton pregnancy, my doctor has said I need to start relaxing more. He recommended 1.5 hours each early afternoon of lying on my left side to increase blood flow to the babes. This is just to try to help me take it easy, which will help a lot in a multiple pregnancy. This will force me to finally get some reading done that I’ve been putting off! (Or maybe some extra naps!!)

Watching the twins on the ultrasound was such a joy. I could watch it all day long. We got a great view of Baby A’s face. We could see his mouth open and close. Baby B was a little more shy, we just got a profile view of his face and his hand was up by his mouth. Adorable! I wonder if this is what their personalities will end up being like! Oh, and it was confirmed again – we saw the family jewels. So yes, they are still both boys!

As far as how the babies are positioned: Baby A’s head is facing down with his feet up. (Which is a great position for labor and he doesn’t have room to move, so he’s staying put there.) But right now, Baby B’s head is up with his feet down. Baby B does have lots of room to move, so we’ll wait to see if he shifts. If not, that’d be a breech position and we may opt for a c-section. Time will tell.

After the ultrasound, we went back down after 1 hour to get my blood taken for the glucose test. Later in the day, I received the news that everything was great. I passed! Thank goodness!

Today was just another day of thanking God for these precious miracles growing inside of me. Sometimes I still think that this is all just a dream, but then I remember that dreams do come true…and miracles happen every day.

WEEK 24 - 26 SYMPTOM UPDATE

Week 24:
I’ve started noticing that my balance is really off. Guess it’s time for me to not attempt any crazy stunts anymore or stand on chairs (Not that I have been!). I have butter fingers and frequently drop things (Thankfully nothing has broken yet!). Every so often my spacing is off and I run into corners of tables, walls, etc. (I’m slowly regressing!) Tripping has started occurring sometimes as well. Only once has this happened in public and thank goodness I didn’t fall down. My sister told me to be careful, as in pregnancy she’s experienced her legs just suddenly giving out and she fell to the ground. CRAZY!

My gums have started bleeding a little when I floss. That kinda freaked me out at first, but I read that this is normal. Even had a bloody nose this week and that hasn’t happened during my pregnant yet.


Week 25:
This has definitely been the week of “swollenness.” My feet and ankles are just crazy! They’re hot, tight, and sore. I try to soak them in cold water when I can which really helps. Actually, it feels like my whole body is swollen. Even bracelets feel tight on my wrist. And when I look in the mirror – pretty sure my face is gaining weight too. (I’m just blaming it on water weight and not that my face is actually gaining weight!!)


Week 26:
Sleeping has become quite the event. I toss and turn and sometimes wake up for an hour at a time desperately wishing to fall back asleep. I know I’m supposed to sleep on my left side, which is best to give the babies oxygen. But when I lay on my side, my back throbs. And then when I switch from side to side - It’s hard to turn over as my legs are so sore. The muscles or ligaments (not sure which!) in my legs that I used to move my body are as sore as can be. It must be those ligaments that are stretching to get ready to give birth.

I’ve created quite the interesting setup of pillows arranged around me. Poor Nick barely has room to move. I use a full body pillow to prop under my belly and lay between my legs. Then I have a flatter pillow to prop up behind my back so I can sort of do a side/back lay all at the same time. Now I’m also going to try propping my feet up on a pillow at the bottom of the bed to try to keep my swollen feet a little more elevated to help reduce the swelling at night. And of course I have my favorite pillow for my head that I just could never live without!

Here’s a recent photo of me at 26 weeks!

GOODBYE ANKLES - HELLO CANKLES!!

Unfortunately, swollen hands and feet are all too common in pregnancy. When you are pregnant, your blood volume increases substantially. Your growing uterus puts pressure on your pelvic veins and vena cava (the major vein that receives blood back from your lower limbs), which slows down the blood flow returning to the torso. This causes blood pooling, which in turn forces water into the tissues of your extremities (hands and feet).

And lucky for me, with the gestation of twins, I have even more blood flow thank someone pregnant with a singleton, so more swelling it is for me. And add that to the fact that it’s summer in Minnesota with high humidity. Yikes!!

Here are my feet on a more "normal" day in this pregnancy. Although this is still swollen.
And here are my really swollen feet today.

I keep looking down thinking, “These ARE NOT my feet!” I’ve lost my ankle bones, which usually stick way out. (I’ve never liked that so you’d think I’d like them to be swollen, but no! – not this much!!) Actually, now that I think about it more, I can’t even really tell where my calves end and my feet begin. AHH!! Oh, and don't forget my toes - I have sausage toes! Tennis shoes are out of the question and when I wear sandals, my feet start swelling around them. It's actually pretty funny as they leave huge marks when I take them off. Oh the horror – I’ve got cankles!! But don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining - just reporting! :)

Since my feet are so very tight and sore, it feels heavenly to soak them in cold water. I may just have Nick pull down that teeny tiny kiddy pool I bought for $1 at a garage sale last summer so I can fill it up outside. Then I can relax with my feet cooling off in the pool, while drinking a delicious pina colada (virgin, that is!!)

So, goodbye ankles...for now. I'll see you again...hopefully by next Christmas...

GETTING BIGGER....AND BIGGER...AND BIGGER!

I had my last doctor appointment last week on June 24th. My mom and sister, Corrie came to the appointment with me and they got to hear the babies’ heartbeats. What a joy that always is! I had a shock as I weighed in with a big jump of 7 pounds this month. (I had only gained 13 pounds total in 20 weeks, from the beginning of my pregnancy.) I’m not quite sure what to think about that. But I keep telling myself that it’s better than not gaining any weight at all! I need to keep these babes nourished, right?

At my appointment, I was 24 weeks along, but I was measuring at 33 weeks. My OB/GYN said, “Congratulations, you’re almost full term…for a single baby!” HA! Good one! I’m excited for next month’s appointment where we’ll have another ultrasound to check on the size of each baby. I pray they’re growing as they should!

Here’s a photo of me at 24 weeks. (But measuring 33 weeks!)

WEEK 20 - 23 SYMPTOM UPDATE

Week 20:
I’ve been so very thirsty this week, feels like I cannot drink enough liquids. So of course that means more potty breaks! My hands and feet have still been swelling often. One day this week, my wedding ring got stuck on my finger after it took a while to pull it off, I realized this just isn’t gonna fly. So off to Kohl’s I went to purchase a “pretend” wedding ring. It’s super pretty and cost less than $20. What a deal! I’m going to tell people it’s a family heirloom worth millions. HA HA! I miss my “real” ring, but I guess it will have to do for now. Otherwise, if I had left it on, I’d probably have to get it cut off!

Week 21:
I have a lot of pressure in my stomach. A. LOT. OF. PRESSURE. At times, it is hard to bend down to pick something up off the floor or to put shoes on. I’ve also had some weird stinging pains in different areas as well. One pain is on the right side of my pelvis. Nick googled it and we are pretty sure it’s “round ligament pain.” Your uterus is normally the size of a pear. And thick ligaments hold your uterus in suspension within your abdomen. As the uterus grows in size and weight, these ligaments become very long and thin, stressing and tensing like rubber bands. They pull and tug on nerve fibers which cause pain. So, I’m feeling this pain and it hurts, but that’s okay – I can deal with the physical pain. But it always makes me question whether something is wrong with the babies. You’d think I’d stop being so paranoid, but each days brings on new physical and emotional feelings and questions!

Week 22:
The joints in my fingers feel very sore and tight often throughout the day. (Is this what arthritis feels like?) I’m sure it has to do with the swelling. When I wake up in the mornings, my hands and feet feel very tight and sore. I feel like my entire body has been hit by a truck. It’s hard to walk around for the first half an hour!

But the most exciting part of this week has been feeling the babies move. Holy movement, batman!! I had thought I had felt the babies move just a few times before this week, and it probably was just that. But this is the first of them consistently moving a lot. It’s amazing. There’s no doubting it now, it’s for sure what I’m feeling. I am in love with it. People had described it to me as feeling like a butterfly fluttering its wings. Well, it doesn’t really feel like that to me, it literally feels like there’s something in there moving and kicking around. It’s like the twins are poking at me saying, “Hi Mommy! We’re here!” I just can’t get enough of it! I wonder who is moving what body part and where. Or maybe they’re playing with each other…

Here’s a photo of me at 22 weeks!

Week 23:
I’m still really enjoying feeling the babies move around…of course! If I feel a lot of movement and watch my stomach, I can see my skin pop up. Nick has been trying to feel it, but of course when he tries, the babies stop moving!

Sleeping has been difficult this week. I wake up a lot and am uncomfortable. My stomach feels so full, tight, and achy…even throughout the night. During the day I’ve been having a lot of back pain in the middle of my back. It’s hard to sit and find a comfortable position. Pillows or blankets propped behind my back help.

For a few days this week I was just miserable. Usually these aches and pains I have are spread with just a few ones occurring and switching from day to day. But with all the aches and pains happening at once for a few straight days, I thought to myself, “If it continues this way, it’s going to be a very very very long summer.” People tell me to take it easy and relax but when you can’t even find a comfortable position laying down, that makes it pretty difficult!

BIRTHING CLASS

Nick and I took a birthing class called, “Birth, Babies, and Beyond “ through the local ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education). It was a 4 session class, with each session lasting 2.25 hours. They went over pregnancy tips, stages of labor, labor positions, pain meditations, relaxation/breathing, newborn care, resources, etc. We took the class in June, which was during my 5th month. You’re ideally supposed to take it during your 8th month. But it was the only dates that would work for us and we figured in case I delivered early, it’d be best to take it then. Most of these ladies were near the end of their pregnancies and I was literally bigger than most of them already. CRAZY!

Having worked in childcare, a degree in Elementary Childhood with a specialization in pre-primary, experiences with my nieces, and just speaking with friends/family, I already knew a lot of what the class offered. But it was still nice to go over again. Although I really wished the class went over more of newborn care, such as how to take are of a baby AFTER you leave the hospital…and especially with twins! I felt out of place in the class because I wanted to ask specific questions regarding to twins, but I didn’t want to waste everyone else’s time there that it didn’t apply to. I wish there was a professional to talk to about twins or a class to take. But in a town our size, there just isn’t that option.

Unfortunately, we had previous plans and we missed the 4th class session, which is about breastfeeding. This was the class session we need to be at the most! I was really disappointed about this as breastfeeding is one thing I’m sure I’ll need assistance with. And for double breastfeeding with twins, I’m sure it takes a little more skill. So I’m nervous about that part. But I know they have lactation consultants at the hospital that can help and even come in the home to assist.

Also during the last class that we missed, they did a tour of the birthing center. We spoke with the RN about this and after the first class, she gave Nick and I our own personal tour! This was the highlight of the class for me. The new birthing center at the brand new hospital here in town is beautiful! The rooms are very nice with great amenities. (gee…sounds like a hotel!) It was great to see the c-section room, since that will be where we will deliver. (With multiples, they have you deliver in the surgery room, just in case of emergencies.)

We had to bring pillows and blankets a few nights as we practiced relaxation techniques, including breathing and massage. Many of the women in the class mentioned how they were planning on having a natural birth with no medication. Nick and I would look at each other and grin because I’m planning on taking whatever drugs they can give me! More power to those ladies, but that will be a daunting task, to say the least! I’m looking for a fun, drug filled, pain free experience. HA!

Here are photos of Nick and I headed to class!!

REGISTERING - A FINE ART!

Registering is a fine art. For months we've researched products, compared prices, and read countless reviews. It’s like a part time job Nick and I have created for ourselves. This strategy is both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because we know more about the products and which ones we think will be great, that are the most cost efficient. But it’s also a curse because it takes a long time to go over all that information and we stress ourselves out about deciding which one to get, when to get it, and where to get it. That’s our OCD taking charge. At some point we’ve just realized that you just research a little, then just decide on something and stick with it. Because by this point – you’re just wasting your precious free time! And I guess we need to fall back on our parents advice, "We didn't have that stuff 30 years ago when you were born and YOU SURVIVED!" Because it is so very true!

Give us a little break though – this is double duty for us. With twins on the way, many items we need TWO of, so we want to be as frugal as possible. (This is our life story – we’re probably too frugal with everything.)Of course we’ve spent the longest research of bigger items such as cribs and nursery room furniture. And I’m pretty proud to say that I think we found the best deals possible!

We’ve received good advice and found ways to save money and have more room; such as buying a dresser and not a changing table. This way we can have more drawer room for double the clothes, plus we can keep the dresser forever and it can grow with the kiddos! We’re thankful for advice from other mommies and daddies out there. But at the same time, we know our situation is a little different with twins, so we oftentimes do have to think about things a little differently.

I’ve also read awesome books geared toward twins and received lots of ideas about what we really truly need TWO of and what not. And things that people just really don’t need at all – like those diaper genie things that hold the dirty diapers! And that many stores offer a discount for multiples – 10% off the second item of a double purchase. (ie: We got our 2nd crib for 10% off. Not that it’s a huge discount, but anything helps!)

Here are a few photos of us registering. Those “guns” are fun! Just point, shoot, and whala – it’s on the list!



Before we started, we thought registering was going to be very overwhelming. And it was at times, but overall, much better than we anticipated! What may have helped keep us in a great mood was that we found the cribs we wanted at USA Baby, on sale, plus we got 10% off the second, and a $10 coupon to use! So, after that big success - we started at Babies R Us and walked around the whole store, crossing off our items along the way. We spent a long time there – that store is huge! But we left feeling satisfied. (Probably because we also went to Khan’s Mongolian Barbeque for supper…YUMMY!!) Then we headed over to a Super Target and registered there as well. Mission accomplished!! And Nick and I were still on speaking terms! HA!

BABY GENDER FEARS

I'm not going to lie...finding out that both of these precious babes were boys was quite a shock to me. I walked out of the ultrasound room feeling a little shattered and teary, coming to the realization, that yes - I am incubating two boys. And there was no mistaking it as they both spread 'em, showing all their boyishness, in all their glory! I started crying when we got into the car after our appointment.

I didn't really understand all of what I was feeling. I just knew my heart was set on at least one baby girl. It's what I've always dreamed of. Please don't misunderstand me. Because I know what you're probably thinking, "This woman has gone through infertility for over 3 years, finally gets pregnant through IVF, is blessed with not one baby, but two = twins, and now is disappointed that they're both boys. How ungrateful and selfish." Trust me - I'm not ungrateful. I think I was honestly in shock because I really thought one would be a girl. Logically there were only 4 possibilities: 1 boy – 1 girl, 1 girl – 1 boy, 2 girls, or 2 boys. So, it was a 25% chance of it being two boys. And a 50% chance of it being both a boy and a girl. Nick and I both really felt it'd be one of each. But we were wrong. (And yes, of course there's always a chance for a girl in the future! We know this!)

I read a few articles and posts online about "gender disappointment" or "gender baby fears" and learned that baby gender expectations are oftentimes rooted in a pregnant woman’s fears of whether or not she will be able to relate to her baby. I came across this writing and it really hit the spot. It was a lot of what I was feeling and gave me comfort that I wasn't the only one to feel this way. It reads, "...The prospect of having a girl eased my fears of motherhood. I truly believed that our shared chromosomal makeup would guarantee me a magical and effortless connection to my child. But with a boy, I didn't have the foggiest idea of what to do or expect. I had little experience, and even less interest, in sports, action figures, and video games. Instead of filling me with joy, the prospect of parenting a son left me feeling like a first-time explorer without a road map."
(Article found at: http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/fetal_development/genetics_gender/article/overcoming-gender-disappointment)

I think this definitely applies to me. You have to understand that I’m a girlie girl. I love to do girl things. I love nail polish, purses, and shoes. I grew up loving dolls, playing house, and dressing up. And I don't really enjoy getting dirty. My mom has 8 sisters, 1 half-sister, 1 brother, and 1 half-brother. I have 3 sisters and 0 brothers. I've only been around girls and so naturally, I dreamed of having a girl of my own to do and experience those things with! I feel as if I may be a bad mother because I don't have any experience with boys.

But I have now realized more that there is so much excitement in this BECAUSE it is all new and I don't have experience with boys. I will have and experience that wonderful mother/son connection that I hear so many people speak of. And if these boys turn out like their father, then what am I afraid of? (Besides 2 little boys who will never stop talking as Nick really likes to talk a LOT! HA!) And if we have two little Nick's running around, what a blessing that will be!

I received a very touching message from a friend that I want to share. She knew I was feeling down and this message pulled on my heartstrings. It's exactly what I needed to hear. I'm so very grateful for her kind words. Thank you, Lisa!! She wrote, "I believe God placed those boys with you for a reason. I think God gives little boys to extra special mommies. He knows these incredible women have the right amount of heart to shape these little men into wonderful husbands and fathers. You have been hand picked, dear Amy. Behind that dirt, baseball glove and monster truck is the makings of an amazing man. God knows you have what it takes."

Nick reassured me that our sons will turn out based on our parenting and upbringing. They won’t be born exactly like anyone else – they’ll be their own unique beautiful boys. So, I don't need to be nervous about the preconceived image of how I think boys will be. Ultimately, I know this is God's plan for our family and I'm confident in that. I'm excited to have these little boys teach me all about what boys do. And I'll show them what I know about being a girl. We'll do "boy" and "girl" things together...how well rounded we will all turn out! What a true adventure this will be. And who knows, maybe the twin boys won't like dirt either...(I can only hope!)

OH BOY, OH BOY!!

Here's an ultrasound photo from today! (It's of their heads, side by side!)

The day has finally arrived! We had our 20 week ultrasound this morning to find out the sexes of the twins. As we left the house, I felt so anxious and nervous. I had been rubbing my belly the last few weeks giving the twins a pep talk to not be shy and show us what they've got! :) And...great news, the precious babies listened to their mommy and daddy! They weren't shy...they definitely showed their stuff!

Drum roll please.......Baby A is a BOY...and Baby B is a boy! WOAH BABY! Both babes are looking healthy and measuring great. Today, I'm 20 weeks and 3 days along. Baby A is measuring 20 weeks 1 day and Baby B is measuring 19 weeks 3 days. They're both laying sideways across my belly with their heads in the same direction. I think they're cuddling, but others think they're wrestling.

I experienced another interesting thing today as I almost passed out while laying down on the exam table! Not too long into the ultrasound, I started feeling very weak, sweaty, and dizzy. (And I've passed out before so I know exactly what it feels like and this was it!) The doctor had me move from my back over to resting on my left side. He said this was normal as laying on your back isn't the best position for someone who's pregnant, especially with twins. It all has to do with blood flow. Your heart rate increases during pregnancy to pump more blood, and as more of your blood supply goes to the uterus, your heart will be working harder to send sufficient blood to the rest of your body. And of course this doubles with twins. And when you're on your back, the weight of your uterus lies on the spine, back muscles, intestines, and major blood vessels. This can lead to impaired circulation, which can reduce circulation to your baby. It can make your blood pressure drop, causing some expectant moms to experience dizziness.

Fortunately, he could keep doing the ultrasound okay from that side position. Nick was fanning me with some papers and I started cooling off. I felt better and moved to laying on my back again. But just a minute later, it all came back again. So back onto my left side again. I swear the weirdest stuff always happens to me. My sister jokes that my body is a medical mystery. I think she's right!

It was amazing to watch the twins move around so much during the ultrasound! I asked our doctor if he was SURE they were both boys. He said, "If those are girls with those things sticking out...we have a problem!" So, boys it is! :) He labeled on the photo printout of Baby B - "I'm a MAN!!!" And on Baby A's, he wrote, "I'm a BETTER MAN!!!". Hilarious!

It's their momma who's getting really big. I'm measuring at 28 weeks today, even though I'm only 20 weeks along. Which is right on track with twins. Keep in mind that when I'm 28 weeks along, my uterus will be about 40 weeks along. (So full term for a pregnancy with a single baby.) This means I will be large and probably start growing out the sides as well instead of just in front! Yikes!

This girlie girl who is afraid of dirt and doesn't know much about sports is quite amazed that she's growing 2 little baby boys. Nick and I both really thought it'd be one girl and one boy. Now begins the picking out of names (Which we are not sharing first names with anyone! You'll just have to wait!), decorating the nursery, buying two of many items, registering, etc. Yippee!! Bring on the boys!

I sure have a lot to learn as I have NO EXPERIENCE with boys! So please send any good advice as I will need it! What a wonderful adventure this will be! Thank you God for healthy precious babies.

Thanks for your continued love and prayers!

Here's Baby B: Definitely a boy! "I'M A MAN!"


Baby A: Definitely a boy! "I'M A BETTER MAN!"

WEEK 18 - 19 SYMPTOM UPDATE

I'm officially 20 weeks today! It's the halfway mark! We have our next doctor's appointment on Thursday to have another ultrasound and find out the sexes of the babies!! I can barely contain myself!! I've been giving the babies a pep talk, rubbing my belly saying, "spread your legs, spread your legs!" Here's a photo of me last week at 19 weeks!



Week 18: The weirdest symptoms I’ve had so far started this week. There’s a heartbeat in my left ear!! Seriously! I looked it up and was thankful that I’m not going crazy. It’s caused by the increased blood flow. Every so often, especially if I’m moving around a lot, I hear and feel this pounding in my left ear. It literally feels as if there’s a heart pounding in my left ear. Very weird!

Also, urinating during the day has become crazy. I feel like it’s all I ever do! (Although getting up to urinate at night has stopped. What a blessing that is! Feels like I sleep so much better without having to get out of bed!)

Week 19: I’ve had some bad bad spurts of heartburn this week. But mostly bothering me have been my feet, as they have been aching a lot this week. They feel sore, as if I need to have support, so I’ve started wearing tennis shoes around the house. But also, my hands and feet have begun to swell. It started when we were on vacation to the Wisconsin Dells this week. I couldn’t even wear my wedding ring there the last day because my fingers were so swollen. And my feet didn’t really even look like my feet. Plus, it doesn’t help that right now it’s 90 degrees and humid here. So, I have been elevating my feet as often as I can but I feel like it doesn’t help anyway. During the day my feet hurt and I want to wear tennis shoes, but I can’t because my feet are swollen and it’s too tight with them on. Now my feet are aching because I can’t wear shoes and they’re swollen. Oh well – bring it on, summer!

WEEK 15 - 17 SYMPTOM UPDATE

Week 15: I still need to get up to urinate every night. Sleeping isn’t as sound as it usually is, as it’s hard to get my belly comfortable. I’ve started using a body pillow and that seems to help a little. My nipples have been very sore lately. Maternity pants are my new best friend. They’re great! For as much as I’m urinating during the day, you can just slip those down so fast without having to zip or button anything, big time saver and very comfortable. Love them! I think I could wear them forever.

Week 16: I’ve had a lot of headaches this week. I wake up with them sometimes in the mornings. I’ve been feeling so tired again, so naps are back! Heartburn has arrived, although it’s very sporadic. Usually occurs more towards late afternoon/early evening time. The best thing this week is that eating is becoming a lot easier. Before I had to eat every 2 hours or else my stomach would ache horribly. I would have to eat before I had the chance to feel sick. Now, I haven’t had to eat as often, but still snack throughout the day. My OB said this most likely due to the higher amount of hormones. With twins, you have more hormones than a singleton, and they last longer. So, it should be tapering off soon.

Week 17: That body pillow is definitely helping. Sleeping is a lot easier and more comfortable. I haven’t had to get up during the night to urinate this week, which seems to definitely improve my sleep! My stomach doesn’t ache during the night when I’m sleeping as much anymore. Big Plus!! But off and on during the day, it still aches. I’ve found I need to lay down after I eat as if to let it all even out. If I sit too long it aches and I need to lay down, which makes it feel better. I’ve also began to start feeling generally achy all over. My lower back aches and I feel sharp pains on the inner sides of both legs when I get up from sitting or move a weird way.

17 Week OB APPOINTMENT

I'm 17 weeks along! I had another check-up appointment today to hear the heartbeats and check my uterus growth. Nick wasn’t able to come to this doctor appointment due to work. (Will probably be the only one he'll miss!) I invited my sister, Jesse, to come along. My 2 year old niece, Cora, came along as well. I don't think Cora really understood what was going on, she was just having fun exploring around the room. I'm so happy Jesse was able to come with, it really meant a lot to have her there with me.

We listened to the babies' heartbeats again. It took awhile to find their heartbeats, as my OB kept finding my heartbeat. It freaked me out while waiting because every time I go in there, I fear that something is wrong with the babies. But he found both heartbeats! It was fun to hear the difference of the heartbeat rhythms as the babies heartbeats were so much faster than mine. Just amazing and beautiful! He said “Baby B” was moving around as he found that heartbeats in a few different areas. (Wait, maybe there's 3 babies in there! HA!) And “Baby A” was stuck right under. Makes me imagine about their personalities already. For some reason I think Baby A is a girl and Baby B is a boy.

This week I am 17 weeks, but measured at 21.5 weeks. So, those twins are making me grow fast! My belly is really starting to poke out. I feel more and more pregnant now that the belly is really here. I love it! I've gained 6 pounds since my last appointment on April 7th...yikes!

We're now anxiously awaiting our next appointment at the end of the month, which is an ultrasound where we will find out the sexes of the babies! Well...only if they behave and cooperate, that is! Come on twins, show us what you've got! :)

Here's the latest photo of me at 17 weeks preggo with twins!

NATIONAL INFERTILITY AWARENESS WEEK

It’s National Infertility Awareness Week! As many of us know, difficulty conceiving a child is not uncommon. It's estimated that about 7 million couples each year in the United States are unable to become pregnant without medical assistance. That averages to about 1 in every 6 couples. Needless to say, Nick and I are one of those six. After years on infertility, we have been blessed with our first pregnancy…our two miracles babies, fraternal twins.

Infertility shouldn’t be a taboo subject. Be aware, be informed, and be supportive. Please watch this amazing video, which gives a little insight into how someone with infertility may feel.

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Here are a few of my favorite infertility links:

www.bethany.org/step/
www.infertilityeducation.org/brochure.html
www.dancinguponbarrenland.com
www.resolve.org
http://www.hannah.org

THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY ONLINE

I emailed out the link to this blog to family and friends on April 19th. And in just a little over one week, I’ve received a lot of great feedback and support. Many of those are people saying they know of someone going through infertility and have forwarded it on. And a few who are going through it themselves that I had no idea about! I hope they can all benefit from reading my blog. Wonderful! I was nervous about emailing out this blog link to everyone in my email address book and also on facebook, thinking they might think I’m crazy because I'm way to open about talking about this. But I decided if it helped reach just one more person who needed it, then it was worth it! I'm glad I did!

WEEK 12 - 14 SYMPTOM UPDATE

Week 12: I’ve definitely started showing now. (I finally admit it although the bump actually appeared around week 9 or 10!) The baby (babies) bump has arrived! My lower back is really starting to hurt at certain points in the day if I sit or lay too long. Eating is continuing to becoming easier and my daily naps have cut down, so my energy level has definitely improved!

Week 13: Eating is still my biggest thing. I need to eat every 2 hours and snack often or else I fade fast…very fast. I get very weak and my stomach hurts in a way I’ve never experienced before. The doc said the babies take the food and nutrients they need first, which is great! So of course, I’m the one who ends up getting weak and not getting the nutrients I need. Therefore, I need to stay on top of my eating so it doesn’t get to that point! I’m also very ready for maternity pants and need to go shopping very soon!

Week 14: My upper legs/buttocks are still very sore from the progesterone shots. It’s a numb sort of feeling and if it gets touched it hurts. Also feels bruised but there are no markings. We stopped those about 4 weeks ago and I thought they’d be healed by now. The doctor said what probably happened is when giving the intramuscular shots, some hit veins causing some little blood clots and it’s making the area sore. There’s no reason to fear that it will be a big blood clot and travel to my brain or anything. He said it will go away in time.

I made an exciting purchase this week – a full body pillow for $10. What a deal! I use it to prop under my belly and rest my leg on while sleeping. (Thanks for the advice, Emily!) It really makes laying on my side a lot easier and provides a nice barrier between Nick and I. Ha!

THE FIRST HEARING OF OUR BABIES' HEARTBEATS!

We had another doctor appointment today. I’ve gained 2 pounds since my last appointment so all seems to be going well in that area. But the most exciting thing was that today was the first time we heard the babies’ heartbeats. Who knew that “shwish shwish” sound would be so beautiful? It was like music to our ears! I’m so nervous going into the appointments because I just want both babies to be okay so badly! But hearing those beautiful heartbeats was amazing. It’s really starting to become real that there are 2 little miracle lives growing inside me!

After hearing the heartbeats, I asked the doctor if he was SURE it was really two separate heartbeats. (I’m so paranoid about both of the babies being okay.) He said, “You don’t trust me!?” in a very funny tone. He’s a comical guy – although after this appointment - I think he thinks I’m a spaz! He said to me, “You’re a planner, aren’t you?” After I replied yes, he said, “You’re going to have to stop planning, cause I was one once too before kids and it just doesn’t work!” We all got a good laugh out of that one.

Our doctor also measured my fundal height. (You measure in centimeters how far it is from your pubic bone to your fundus, which is the very top of your uterus.) Basically the number in centimeters should correlate with how many weeks along you are. For example – I’m 13 weeks along, so it should measure 13 centimeters with a single baby. But since there are twins, one’s uterus expands much larger to accommodate two babies. He said I’m measuring 16-17 centimeters, which means my uterus is the size of someone who’s 16-17 weeks along. No wonder I’m showing already! Yikes…this could get very interesting as time passes! Time for some maternity clothes shopping!

We took this photo on Easter morning. About 13 weeks pregnant but measuring around 17 weeks with the twins. Definitely a "babies" bump!

A DOUBLE BLESSING

I’ve accepted that IVF is our path and I am forever grateful because of it. Who would have thought I’d ever say it, but I truthfully feel blessed that I got to experience it this way. It’s absolutely amazing to think these precious babies were grown outside my body and then put back in. And to have the amazing experience to watch those 2 embryos being put back into me on ultrasound during our Embryo Transfer – absolutely breathtaking. Who gets to see their babies that early on? Not many at all!

We have been doubly blessed with twins. We couldn’t be happier and pray that these little babes grow strong and healthy throughout this entire pregnancy. There’s no doubt that we know we have more than enough love to share with both of our little miracles. And we know that for our children, we’d do this entire process all over again.

We have been blessed throughout this entire journey. A few people have mentioned to us after our pregnancy announcement, “Your prayers have finally been answered.” But that’s not entirely all true. Yes, our prayers have been answered, but they have always been answered the entire time. It’s just that this time, it has just been answered in the way we had hoped for, for so long. God has always answered our prayers with a “no,” “yes,” or “wait.” We’ve waited for many years and know God has been with us every step of the way.

Last Christmas, one of our pastor’s wives, Sue, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She’s an amazing woman and even amongst this trial, she is positive and uplifting. In one of Pastor’s sermons, he spoke of one of Sue’s favorite bibles verses in the book of Revelation, that speaks of “patient endurance.” I’ve really been inspired by this thought of patient endurance. I want to be patient and trusting and to keep moving forward, little by little. I have always hoped and prayed that I would reach a sense of peace and acceptance no matter where our infertility journey would take us. I now know that I want to use our infertility to help others. I know it’s made me even more aware and compassionate of others’ losses and hurts, in every aspect and walk of life.

With my infertility journey and my beautiful double blessings, I want to encourage and inspire others along their journeys. It’s made all the difference to know and trust that my journey is in God’s hands. I hope you know that yours is as well…