KEEP THE FAITH

A precious friend messaged me this, (on a day I so desperately need to hear it!) a few weeks after the babies were born. Since then, I’ve read it again and again:

"You are a warrior, Amy. Keep the faith, laugh, enjoy the moments, and shed a tear when you need to."

And that is just what I have done. I've kept the faith, laughed, enjoyed the moments, and shed a few tears here and there. And that is what every good mommy does. Because as I know now, there are good days and bad days. But there are always more good days than bad.(Thanks Lisa, you are my kindred spirit!)

So, no matter if you are a mommy or not, remember this awesome advice, "You are a warrior. Keep the faith, laugh, enjoy the moment, and shed a tear when you need to!"

Here's Lisa with the babies when they were just 11 days old!

AFTER DELIVERY SYMPTOMS!

I never had time (imagine that!) to journal about much of what happened as far as my symptoms following after delivery. I recently just started jotting things down. Although I know I’ve forgotten a bunch already – which is probably okay! The following are such random thoughts. And I just decided to blog them that way…

- As far as “after effects” from the surgery, I did throw up a number of times during the first evening. And my whole body was jerking and shaking off and on for hours after. Apparently this is the body’s reaction after a traumatic event. I was on a morphine drip and would push a button to give myself more meds.

- I remember the nurses making me get up out of bed to try walking the next day. It was so painful. I never realized it would be like that. I honestly thought recovery immediately following the surgery would have been much easier! A few days later I could finally make it walking one lap around the birthing center while pushing the babies in their bassinets!

- It hurt my stomach and incision when I would laugh, sneeze, cough, etc. for weeks afterward. (They tell you to hold a pillow over your stomach/incision when doing these things.) I was afraid I was going to bust open the stitches! My sister, Jesse, seemed to always make me laugh and I threatened I wouldn’t let her come back to visit me anymore! Why does everything seem more funny when you’re not supposed to laugh!?

- Speaking of my stomach hurting, the nurses would come in and push down on my uterus. They do this to help the uterus contract which helps it get back down to it's normal size. Sounds easy enough but it's extremely painful. They'd come and do it in the middle of the night too. Not the nicest way to be woken up!

- You think you’re in heaven because you don’t have your period during your entire pregnancy. But people forget to mention that you will bleed for 11 weeks straight after delivery! And it's not normal "period" bleeding, it's big slimy blood clot bleeding. Not fun! One day toward the end I even had a golf ball sized clot. (Apparently 6 weeks is “normal” but for some lovely reason I bled for 11 weeks straight! I would imagine it has to do with having multiples.)

- For about the next 14 days after delivery, after sleeping, I would wake up with my whole body drenched in sweat. And I mean drenched. This was the excess water weight coming off. What an easy way to loose weight!

- Even though I am no longer breastfeeding or pumping, my breasts are still leaking a little. I am hoping that stops soon.

- The coolest thing for me was the movement of my stomach – aka GAS!! It was crazy weird…but really fascinating! (FYI – don’t keep reading if you don’t like talking about farts!!) About 24 hours after surgery, I was lying down and looking at my stomach because I could feel and see movement all over. (What the heck was there a THIRD baby in there they forgot to take out? HA!) You could see my stomach literally moving…a lot! It was as if something was inside and rolling a ball around up at my skin. It almost looked like water waves underneath. The skin on my entire stomach would move/roll around. This was due to the gas buildup. I couldn’t pass gas because my stomach muscles weren’t working (from being moved around during surgery). Therefore, how can you push a fart out? You can’t. The gas pains were uncomfortable. I remember wanting to fart so badly. (Sorry for the details!!) I was lying on my left side (which is supposed to help), and finally I felt a big one pass. It was a quiet and slow release. I swear it lasted at least 30 seconds! I can’t even describe how good that felt!! Jesse and Nick were there when it happened, it was pretty funny!

- The whole week in the hospital I had high blood pressure, so they kept a close watch on that. I guesstimate that they checked it at least every 3 hours all 6 days in the hospital. It still wasn’t that great when I was released, but it had improved. At my two week post partum check-up, it was back to normal. Thank goodness!

- They put you on stool softeners and gas tablets. I didn’t have a bowel movement in the hospital but did about 8 days after delivery. That’s all I’ll say about that!!

- For weeks my stomach was very sensitive and I couldn’t lie on my side. When I finally could, I had to prop a small pillow underneath my stomach to “hold up” the “swishiness” of it. The best way for me to describe it was that it felt like a waterbed stomach. If I was on my side, I had to prop it up, otherwise it seemed to swish down and was uncomfortable. I know you’re thinking, “ewww, that’s weird.” Trust me, I know…it was!! And now 11 weeks later, it’s still swishy, but it’s gone down a lot.

- My back (even now 11 weeks after delivery) still feels very sore at certain times. If I stand in one place too long or bend over, such as during a diaper change or bath, my back feels very sore. For the first month or so, at times I found myself breathing really deeply because it felt like I couldn’t breathe properly because of my back. I would imagine this is due to the fact of my body readjusting itself to not having all that weight on the front.

- I’d say at about the 6 week point after surgery was when I started feeling healthy again. I could walk for longer distances, which was AWESOME! I remember at the end of my pregnancy telling Nick, “Don’t ever let me complain about walking again. I miss it so much!” And then the first weeks after surgery I couldn’t walk far without being winded. So, now I’m hoping to never take such a wonderful and basic thing as walking for granted!

- While I still had the catheter in, I remember suddenly getting a huge urge to have to urinate. Which obviously shouldn’t happen when you have a catheter in. I beeped a nurse in and turns out the tube was pinched so my pee wasn’t going through to the bag! As soon as she straightened it out, it was fine. Later that night, after they took the catheter out, I had a really difficult time urinating for the first time. I had to go horribly bad. I had sudden sharp pains that felt like they were shooting up my vagina. The doctor said this is because of the uterus contracting and pushing on the bladder. The pain was unbearable. After having a catheter in, you need to teach yourself how to pee again. Somehow you have to get your brain to connect and make your body do it’s job! It is really the strangest thing. I sat on the toilet trying to urinate, but nothing would come out. They sprayed water on me and turned on the sink water to make the running water noises to try to help. Nick stayed in the bathroom with me and starting chanting some song about peeing. That didn’t last long before I was about to punch him in the face!! HA! (Two of my friends, Sara & Melissa, were here visiting me during all of this. I’m sure they thought I was crazy!) I tried to relax and just let it come out, but nothing was working. The nurses talked about putting the catheter back in. But I was determined and finally I was able to go! Talk about some awesome relief.

- After delivery, I had PUPPS (Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy). It is more common when you carry multiples and so 70% of people who experience PUPPS deliver boys. Interesting!The rash started on my stomach. In the following days coming home from the hospital, it spread to my legs all the way down to my feet. The rash was red and raised and was extremely itchy. I tried not to itch it, but that proved to be very difficult. My ankles were the worst. I did scratch those a lot. And I still have a little scar because of it. My OB said it was from the hormones. At my two week post partum check-up, he told me that I had so many hormones going through my body that if I took a pregnancy test right now, it would still be positive!! He said once the hormones slowed down, the rash would go away. And it did! Here’s a photo I took of my legs! (I have one of my stomach too, but I’ll spare you from the horror of that photo!)



- Without having the use of my stomach muscles, that proved to make it very difficult to get around the house and take care of two babies. I couldn’t get down on the floor and going up/down stairs took a while. The hardest part was getting out of bed. I would scoot up toward the headboard while lying down and then grab the headboard and use my arms to help push myself up.

- My stomach is still numb and sore. It hurts if it’s pushed against or if clothing is too tight. My OB said this can last up to 6 months or longer.

- One other thing I’d like to add is that while pregnant, when I would comb my hair, NO hair would come out. Seriously - I don't think I shed but a few hairs!(Before the pregnancy, a little bit of hair would come out.) But now when I brush my hair, tons and tons of stands come out in my hand and on the brush. I feel like I'm shedding way more than anyone should. (And I have a right to be scared, I had Alopecia when I was 18 years old and began losing my hair. Thankfully it all grew back. But that's whole other story.) Anyway - after some research, I found that thanks to hormonal changes during pregnancy, you hair becomes thicker and you shed less of it. And after delivery, hormone levels begin to return to normal, resulting in hair loss. In fact, people shed a lot of hair right after delivery because you held on to all that hair during pregnancy, so you may lose up to 500 hairs a day instead of the usual 100 or so. Well, that would explain the gobs of hair that look like a small rodent in my bathroom wastebasket! Ahh! Although it can seem dramatic because your hair is making up for lost time, it's okay because your normal growth cycle will resume in about three to six months. Thank goodness!

That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure I'll remember more later and add it as the thoughts present themselves!

MY LIFE TIMES TWO!!

Make one bottle. Make another bottle.
Feed one baby. Feed another baby.
Burp one baby. Burp another baby.
Clean one bottle. Clean another bottle.
Change a diaper. Change another diaper.
Clothe one baby. Clothe the other baby.
Wash one load of laundry. Wash another load of laundry.
Hold a baby. Hold another baby.
Bathe one baby. Bathe another baby.
Put a pacifier in. Put another pacifier in.
Write in one baby book. Write in another baby book.
Take one baby’s picture. Take the other baby’s picture.
Strap one baby in a car seat. Strap another baby in a car seat.
Oh yes, everything I do - I do it TIMES TWO!!

Okay…you get the idea…

Oh, and I’m not complaining. I’m just explaining my life…times TWO!!! (And secretly thanking God that it’s not times 3…or 4!!)

GIVING THANKS

On Thanksgiving, we give thanks. Although we all need to remember to give thanks each and every day! This Thanksgiving I am especially grateful and thankful for all the amazing people in my life. And so I give thanks to and for YOU!

But, saying “thanks” just doesn’t seem like enough. I wish there was something I could do so everyone truly knew how grateful Nick and I are. So even though it is difficult to fully express how thankful we are in words, we pray everyone “just knows.” Thanks isn’t just a word that comes out of our mouths…our thanks is felt deep down from Nick and my hearts. It’s something we praise everyday. I hope you see our thanks each and every time you look at Eli and Will…

The support we’ve been given is something we will cherish forever and hope to pay it forward for the rest of our lives. We have hundreds of people to thank for their love and support during all our walks of life and especially with our infertility and now new roles and a mommy and daddy. From prayers to words of encouragement to meals to gifts of diapers, we’ve been so spoiled by our family and friends. We are so grateful to have you in our lives. And we’re so grateful that Eli and Will will grow to know you!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

TWO MONTHS OLD!

Hope, wishes, and dreams sometimes come true...times two!!

Happy two months Elijah & Will!

ELIJAH


WILL

IT TAKES TIME

Being a new mommy is so exciting, but so overwhelming. There is so much to learn and get comfortable with. No one really prepared me for the fact that the first few months were going to be so hard! Of course I didn’t know what to expect, but I can say it was harder than I imagined. Everything is so new, thrown in your face all at once. Recovering from a major surgery (for those of us who had c-sections) and the sleep deprivation just doesn’t help anything either! Overwhelming just doesn’t seem to be the right word. Because it’s so much more! You are given this precious little human (or humans in my case) and suddenly need to know how to care for and support them. That is stressful because you want to do everything perfectly for your perfect little angel (or angels)! Being a mom is a tough job. And it takes time to get used to this new role, this new job, this new career…

Society puts so many false notions out there about having a baby. The movies usually show how perfect everything is and how the mother falls in love the moment she first holds her baby. It’s so cliché. And in real life, when you talk to someone who recently had a baby, she tells you how wonderful it is and not how painful the labor was or how the baby cried all night. People sugarcoat it and don’t tell you the bad parts. Don’t let anyone tell you that being a mother comes 100% natural! Yes, some parts are, but so many more aren’t. Knowing how to change a diaper doesn’t come natural. Although I must say I am a professional at diaper changes already. HA!

So when a new mommy finds motherhood anything slightly less than perfect, she feels like a failure compared to all the other “super moms” out there. But that is so not true. I was so happy to realize that the feelings I was having were normal and that it didn’t make me a bad mother. It made me human and a normal mother! And everyone else felt it to some extent, they just didn’t vocalize it. I was thankful to know that in time, I would become one of those “super moms” that other people look to. Because…it takes time. No one can do it all right away. And of course there is no such thing as a true “super mom” because all moms have hard times. (And if someone considers themselves a “super mom”, then ironically they are probably the ones who are the farthest from it!) I am okay with saying that I like every other mom gets frustrated, they cries, but keeps moving forward remembering that “it too shall pass” and that it takes time…

I have now embraced the fact that it takes time. It takes time to get used to this new life. It takes time to learn how to change a diaper. It takes time to get comfortable. But everything gets easier. People told me all this after the babies came and at first I didn’t believe it. But it is true! Thank goodness! I can now change a diaper super fast, am comfortable at feeding two babies at once, and finally feel as if I’m not going to break the babies!! And it’s only been two months. I’ve gone from thinking I wasn’t going to survive to now knowing that I can…and I will!

Now whenever I get stressed I try to remind myself….it takes time!

TWINS ARE TERRIFIC!!

Twins Are Terrific!

6 Reasons It's Great Having Twins
By I.J. Schecter

The experience of raising a baby does have its challenges – keeping him away from sharp corners, deciding when to cut her hair for the first time, not freaking out if he isn't speaking in complex sentences by the age of 10 months. But raising two babies? That's a whole different ball of wax. Ask most people if they'd want twins and the answer is, well, tinged with a bit of justifiable apprehension. But to get the real dope, you have to go to the source – and when you do, you discover that there are plenty of aspects of the twin experience that sets it apart in unrivaled ways. Here are 6 reasons it's great to have twins!

1. It's the Ultimate Two-for-One
Two medium pizzas for the price of one? Anyone can score that kind of deal. Buy-one-get-one-free at your local Blockbuster, Subway or Sports Authority? Nothing to write home about. But knocking off two pregnancies in one shot? That is a truly mind-blowing achievement.

"Oh, it's got its particular hurdles," says Jane Rosenberg, a mother of twins from New York. "But I'd take that two-for-the-price-of-one pregnancy again anytime!"

And here's the best part: Though you're incubating two human beings at the same time, by no stretch of the imagination are you creating carbon copies in there. For one pregnancy, you're rewarded with two completely distinct individuals. "It's amazing how you can carry two babies at one time and nurture them both in the same ways, yet they still grow up to be two unique individuals with different likes, dislikes, talents and abilities," says Toronto mom Julie Bleiwas. And she's right – you get to enjoy two people who share something indescribable and unshakable yet who will captivate and charm you with their own specific talents and quirks each and every day.

2. Genetic Wonderment
You know those reports in which twins separated at birth meet after 40 years only to discover they have the same wardrobes, the same jobs, the same hobbies and spouses who could pass for each other? Those aren't made up. Plenty of studies have demonstrated the uncanny bond shared by those who occupy the same womb for the first several months of their lives. Seeing this bond play out every day as twins develop together highlights just how amazing genetics really is. If you've always leaned toward the nurture side of the argument, spend some time watching twins in action, and see just how fast you swing over to the nature part of the equation.

"It's taken having my own set of twins to make me realize how eerie the connection is," Bleiwas says. "I'll never forget the first time Jordyn was telling a story and she and Samara started finishing each other's sentences as the story went along – even though the experience had only happened to one of them. By now, I'm used to it."

3. Entertainment Value
Finishing each other's sentences. Speaking a private language whose rules are known only to them. Endless possibilities for practical jokes at the expense of unsuspecting others. Observing twins on a day-to-day basis isn't just fascinating; it's loads of fun, too. Just try to convince them to go easy on the pranks. It's incredible – and disturbing – what twins can pull off if they want to.

4. The Built-in Best Friend
Fascination and entertainment aside, one of the most wonderful and enduring advantages of twins is that each is supplied automatically with a bosom buddy for life. This isn't to say that siblings of different ages don't also become close, but twins are linked in a deeper, more inextricable way. And they don't need to learn to become intimately familiar friends, nor do parents need to force either one of them on the other. There is an unbreakable, almost mystical connection from the very start, one which only strengthens over time.

"My twins, Remy and Sidney, are best friends and constant companions, and that warms my heart," Rosenberg says. "Each one of them knows she has someone there for her for sharing secrets, making plans, dreaming, hoping ... or just hanging out. You can't put a price on that."

Tracey Levine, a mom from Richmond Hill, Canada, agrees. "As far as I'm concerned, the best part about having twins is that the two children have an instant and lifelong friend and playmate," she says. "That's invaluable. Most of us hope to find a true best friend at some point in our lives. Each of my girls, Eva and Tal, has had one since birth and will have one for the rest of her life. I wouldn't trade that for anything."

5. Double the Precious Moments
You know all those moments parents love to talk about? You get to experience them twofold – all of them.

"Breastfeeding is a magical experience no matter what," Bleiwas says. "But when you're breastfeeding both twins at one time, as though you're holding two footballs, and they look up at each other and lock eyes for the first time, or when they're sleeping side by side and one is sucking her thumb and her sister is sucking the other thumb of the first ... well, all I can say is it's hard to describe the emotion."

Rosenberg puts it even more succinctly: "Two words: double hugs!" she says.

6. You Climb Both Learning Curves at Once
For most parents, there are (at least) three equal but separate trials: learning how to raise a baby; learning how to maintain a normal and productive personal and professional lifestyle while still providing love, care and appropriate stimulation for your child; and learning how to manage the often-complicated sibling dynamic. With twins, you have no choice but to become experts in all of these areas concurrently.

In other words, you acquire more than twice the expertise of other parents in half the time. Sure, they may have multiple children, too, but at least they get time to adjust to the challenges of each in a linear sequence, kind of like being able to study for a single exam at a time instead of having to deal with several, covering different subjects, at once. You're placed in a metaphorical classroom, handed several textbooks, given a bit of time to read them all and then asked to demonstrate your mastery. Now that's impressive!

7 Weeks old: 2 MONTH SHOTS

The boys had a doctor's appointment and their 2 months shots today. There were 4 immunizations: 3 shots and one liquid swallowed. Poor little guys. Hard enough to watch/listen to one go through it and then one to the next. They got two shots in one leg and one in the other. Both boys bled, but in opposite legs. They seem to be doing okay. They are napping now, but every time they move their legs, they wake up, whimper and cry. I just gave them tylenol for the first time. I hope it helps. I've never heard them scream and cry so loudly before. It just breaks a mommy's heart...

But on a positive note - both boys gained 14 ounces this week!!! Almost a pound in one week again!! Awesome! Gee...they seem to have to do things a lot alike. They must be twins! Ha! Elijah is now 9 pounds 4 ounces, which puts him in the 10.81 percentile. And Will is now 8 pounds 13 ounces, which is in the 6.12 percentile.

They are now 7 weeks old and weighing in at regular "newborn" size!! These little men are catching up fast. They are even starting to fit into newborn clothes too! Yippee!! (Good thing because we needed a better wardrobe selection. The few preemie clothes we had them wearing over and over again were getting a little boring! They need to stay fashionable you know, especially since we've receive so many adorable outfits!!)

Also, both boys are the same length/height now, measuring in at 21.25 inches. Gee...they must be twins!! (..okay, that joke is probably going to get old!) This puts them in the 11.14 percentile for height. Elijah's head circumference is 15 inches (22.4 percentile) and Will's is 14.25 inches (3.82 percentile.)

Elijah and Will are doing wonderful. No issues at all. Praise God! Their next appointment isn't until 4 months old in January. Their pediatrician is very pleased. We even sweet talked some Enfamil formula samples out of him. No issues at all for these perfectly healthy precious babes. We are so blessed!

Sleeping after their shots...

JUST ANOTHER DAY

This daddy can do it all!


This momma is pumping iron!!


These babes are matching cutie pies!!

GIVING BIRTH TO TWINS = the. best. diet. EVER!!

The best (and only! Oh wait...I did try the South Beach Diet but only last a few hours before I broke down hysterically crying. That diet ended fast!) diet I've ever done was the "delivering twins diet!" HA! I gained 41 pounds in 8 months with my pregnancy with twins. Not too shabby! (Although who knows how much I would have gained in that last month of pregnancy if I went full term!) And I am ever so proud to say that I lost those 41 pounds in less than 2 weeks after delivery. Seriously!! It was amazing! But I can’t really brag though because I didn’t do anything to loose it. Well, wait, I guess that is the reason to brag. I didn’t do anything at all, it just all came right off! But I know much of that was water weight as my whole body was swollen! My doctor was amazed at my weight loss that quickly. And I was too! Not to mention that fact that I lost the weight of two babies, two placentas, etc. and that adds up to a lot!

I had wanted to weigh myself the next day after delivery in the hospital but they didn’t have a scale. How could they not have a scale?!?! I couldn’t be the only person who wanted to weigh myself right after delivery to see how much weight they had lost!? I was so curious as to how much just losing the babies, placentas, etc. was equal to! I remember the next day after delivery looking down at my legs and feet exclaiming, “My feet! Those are my feet!” They were so swollen for so long during my pregnancy, that seeing them “normal” was like seeing a long lost friend again! I was so excited! I could wear more than my one pair of flip flops again! I also realized that I hadn’t even comprehended how swollen they really were until I saw them normal size again! I swear I must have glanced down at them hundreds of times that day in complete awe! (I know you think I’m crazy – but seriously, trust me – it was a dramatic difference!!)

Okay, I’ll brag about one more fact and then bring myself back to reality with a downer fact!! So after losing the 41 pounds, I went on to loose 9 more pounds in the next month after delivery. That means in one month after giving birth to twins, I weighed 9 pounds less than when I first became pregnant. And that I lost a total of 50 pounds in 4 weeks!!! I really don’t exactly know why I lost that much and so quickly. I’m sure breastfeeding helped. And the fact that I weighed more before I got pregnant perhaps from all the fertility medications I was on. And that I ate healthier during the pregnancy. (Oh who am I kidding? I had ice cream almost every day!) But before you get too jealous, I have gained back 4 pounds very fast since quitting breastfeeding and pumping!

Okay, here’s the big downer so you don’t get too envious of me. Even with all that great weight loss, (and I can’t believe I am telling this to the world) I have a huge gut that is saggy and stretched and covered with oh so nasty stretch marks all around my belly button protruding outward in all directions. Yuck. And my belly button has turned into a concave valley. (It’s the weirdest thing ever! If you are brave enough to see such a sight, ask me because I may be okay with showing you!)

During a cesarean birth, the cut is made into the abdominal wall and then the muscle is pulled apart to reveal the uterus. The uterus is then cut open and the baby is pulled out between the muscle fibers often causing stretching. That stretching is what makes it difficult to get your stomach back into good muscle tone afterwards. My OB said if I want it to go away, I’ll have to do some major working out. Boo hoo! This is because my "gut" is basically my stretched out muscles. Therefore, if I work on those muscles, they will shrink back in and the gut should disappear. The body is an amazing thing! (And if you know me, you know how much I love to work out...ha ha!)

I was out of maternity clothes after one month, but I still wear my “bella band” (a seamless band that is tight and can hold up your jeans without being buttoned!) because I can’t button all my regular jeans. And who knows if I’ll ever be the same size again. I think I'll be wearing that bella band forever. (Oh, the joys of your stomach being stretched to all ends during a pregnancy with multiples.) Those boys better appreciate me and what my poor stomach went through! If they ever give me grief, I may just have to show them my belly war wounds and say, “look what you did to me!” HA HA HA HA!

Even though my body has changed in wild ways (people had warned me about them, but I didn’t believe it until now!) – I am thankful for this blessing. (I’ll spare you from going into detail about what other ways my body has changed!) Yes, they are my war wounds and I will learn to appreciate them. Like I was ever really going to wear a bikini again anyway, right?

And even though I still look 20 weeks pregnant...(seriously...my stomach still looks like it did when I was about 20 weeks along!) I will be thankful (most of the time!)

This photo was taken the night before the babies were born on September 12th. We had no idea that the next day I would deliver! I couldn’t even fit into pregnancy clothes anymore. As you can see, my gut is clearly hanging out! (Speaking of which, I don’t know why they don’t make pregnancy clothes for those pregnant with multiples. If I bought bigger sizes to fit my belly, it was way to large everywhere else so I couldn’t wear those either.) So, needless to say, I was ready to get those twins out of me. I’m not sure how much more I could have really stretched without popping!


And this photo was taken on September 9th. I’m not sure how many inches around I measured. My plan was to measure it before delivery, but in all the craziness, I forgot!!

TWO PEAS IN A POD!

FIRST HALLOWEEN!! Our little sweet peas!!!

A LOOK BACK TO: A letter to our babies!

Don't our babies have the cutest little feet?

I looked back and found this post from February 27, 2010. It's a letter I wrote to the twins after we found out there were 2 babies! What precious memories...


Dear babies,

Words cannot express how much we love you and how grateful we are to be awaiting your arrival. We’ve grown you in our hearts for many years…we saw you as embryos when you were first conceived and now what an amazing blessing to see your first photo. There you both are, just hanging out in your own little placentas, so close to each other. We imagine that you are the best of friends already. We are so in love with you, just as we have been for the past three years of waiting for you… our little miracles.

As much grief and hardship this road has been to finally have you, we never gave up on our faith and hope that God would see us through. We feel confident in knowing that God has a special plan for our family. We pray you stay strong and grow to be healthy babies and no matter what, we know God will watch over you. You two behave in there on your in-utero adventure: learn to share, play nicely, and hold each other close. There isn’t a single ounce of doubt about how much we want and love you both. And we can’t wait to hold you in our arms…

We love you!
your Mommy and Daddy

TINY WONDERS...AMAZING GIFTS!

Will



Elijah

DOUBLE STROLLER

Out for a lovely walk on a lovely day with the double stroller...which is more like a train!! :)

FORGIVE ME, I'M A LITTLE BEHIND

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to post quick about how I am so behind on this blog. There's so much I want to write and add from the end of my pregnancy up until the current moment. But as you can imagine, life with twins, is a busy life. It's everything times two!! The boys don't leave me much spare time!

I hope to get more postings on here little by little. But for now, keep checking back in. I want to get more photos up and info from our week in the hospital, their baptism, and of course so much else of the boys first 5 weeks of life. There's so much to write and blog. I hope I can get it all written down before I forget it (although I guess some of it I'd rather forget..such as the extreme sleep deprivation!!)

Here's a family photo from the twins baptism!

BABY LOVE

hearts entwined
twenty fingers, twenty toes.
two sweet babies with cheeks of rose.
born on the same day, two gifts from above.
lives entwined, two babies to love.

Our Miracle Babies!

Elijah Kingsley and Will Clarence

THEY MAY BE LITTLE, BUT THEY'RE BIG TIME ADORABLE!

Here are a few photos of our little men. At 5 weeks old, Elijah is now 8 pounds 1 ounce and Will is 7 pounds 11 ounces. They're almost the size of a "normal" baby when it's just born! The twins can almost fit into newborn clothes now. :) Bye bye teeny tiny preemie clothes! Hello bigger selection of newborn wardrobe!!

Adorable little outfits!


These fraternal (not identical) twins even look alike when they cry!

BREASTFEEDING: BREAST IS BEST, BUT NOT ALWAYS BETTER

I had planned on breastfeeding all along, even after I knew we were expecting twins. I figured I’d be one of those super moms, walking around double breastfeeding twins while cooking. Okay, of course that’s not possible, but it sounds exciting. Ha! I figured as long as I stuck with it, breastfeeding two babies at the same time would work out. I wanted to because it was best for the babies and because let’s be honest – buying super duper expensive formula to feed two babies vs. free breast milk – hello!!! And of course breastfeeding for two would burn a lot of extra calories and who wouldn’t want that? I had planned on breastfeeding and also pumping so that Nick would be able to bond and feed the babies as well. I had purchased everything we needed: the pump, bottles, pads, nipples, bras, boppies, etc. We were ready!

Let me preface by saying that breastfeeding isn’t easy. I don’t care what anyone says. (And I guess if it really was easy for you - consider yourself blessed...very blessed!) I’ve learned that breastfeeding a full term baby is hard. And breastfeeding one baby is hard. So put two preemie twin babies together and that makes breastfeeding extremely hard.

For us, three days after the babies were born, their glucose levels dropped horribly low. This is due to the fact that basically they weren’t getting enough milk, therefore "starving." As a result, we had to turn to breastpumping and bottle feeding them my breastmilk after each breastfeeding session, so that we could track better how much milk the babies were consuming. I’m not sure if this played into the whole thing as far as “nipple confusion” goes, but maybe. The nipples for the bottles were so much easier for the babies to suck from, so of course it was harder for them to take from my breast nipple. Therefore, that didn’t help the whole breastfeeding situation. That very well could have made them "lazier" and made it a lot harder for the babies to breastfeed. And not to mention that the sucking reflex doesn't fully develop until 36 weeks of gestation. Therefore, premature babies can have a weak sucking ability. This would help explain why nursing was so difficult for them as they were born at 35 weeks 6 days gestation.

Breastfeeding the twin preemies was a task. We had to strip each baby down and coax them to wake up. I felt like we were torturing them. Once we finally got them to latch on, I had to keep prodding them to stay awake and/or massage my breast to help the milk to come down. I would have one hand supporting the head and the other hand half massaging my breast and half stroking the baby's chin and cheek.(Sometimes I'd have others there helping to touch the babies to keep them awake and trying. They would tickle their feet and rub their hands, etc.) Therefore I had to use both hands, so double breastfeeding was out of the question. Or at least until they got used to it and were pros! I'd also have to watch and listen to see/hear if the babies were swallowing while breastfeeding. That is way harder than it sounds! After that was finished, on to baby #2 and repeat everything all over again for the second time. Then after breastfeeding, both babies then were given 20cc of breast milk in bottles. Next, we changed their diapers. And then I pumped to express breast milk for the babies to drink in bottles.

Since the babies were eating every 2 hours at this time, about the time we got finished with that round of breastfeeding/bottle feeding/diaper changes/pumping; it was literally time to start all over again. It didn’t take long for me to feel overwhelmed and very trapped. I started to realize that breastfeeding may just be what I do all day, every day. And that didn’t appeal to me at all. I mine as well have just stopped wearing a shirt because my boobs were always being used!

The best word to describe how I felt about breastfeeding was TRAPPED. I began to realize that I could never be away from the babies. I would be the only one able to feed them and I’d have to be home every 2-3 hours by the electrical pump in order to breast pump. I was a slave to my own breasts! I imagined never being able to leave the house. I imagined never even having time to put a shirt on in order to feed two babies all day and all night. I imagined a life that was pretty scary to me.

There is so much out there about how breastfeeding is best. I understand that and do agree. But I feel as if everyone goes a little too far about it. I already feel guilty enough, and everywhere I look I’m reminded. It’s like the breastfeeding Gods are trying to give me a sign! Even on our formula container, right on the front it reads, “Experts agree breastfeeding is best.” Seriously?! Stop making me feed bad! Also, on the Medela bottles I pump into (and we use to bottle feed both breastmilk and formula) have various statements on the side of each bottle such as, “Breastfeeding: from mother with love.” “Breastfeeding: nature’s perfect food.” “Breastfeeding is baby’s best start.” And “Mother’s Milk is #1.” I don’t need to feel guilty every time I bottle feed the babies, do I?

I realized there are a lot of benefits to breastfeeding, such as; it’s always readily available, it’s free, it’s healthy for the baby, it’s a good bonding time for you and your baby, and it helps you burn a lot of calories. But at the same time, for me, and I think especially with twins, I felt very opposite of those positive benefits. I felt trapped. It wasn’t a bonding time for me because I was so stressed about getting the babies to latch on and make sure they were eating enough since they had lost so much weight in the hospital. It was imperative that the babies gained weight. It was all I could think about. Plus double breastfeeding wasn’t working, therefore it took up a lot of time and I was really stressing out. And it didn’t feel natural to me and not to mention that I didn’t enjoy doing it in front of others. I'd have to leave the room and that bothered me to be hidden away by myself. After the first two weeks, the first day Nick went back to work, I stopped because I was a complete wreck. Not to mention my breasts and nipples hurt, sometimes it was even hard to carry the babies around with them touching my chest. It hurt to have water spray on them in the shower, it hurt when the babies latched on, and it hurt when someone even hugged me. That just didn't seem right to me. I couldn't fit into most of my shirts because my breasts were so large. Plus they were leaking all over. And I was so sleep deprived, the only thing I could think of to wake me up was caffeine and you can't drink much of that when breastfeeding.

Pumping was starting to make me feel trapped as well, having to make sure I was at home and available every three hours to pump. I felt like a cow hooking up to that machine. Plus it usually worked out that when my breasts were about ready to explode and needed to be pumped, the babies needed to eat, so it was always a little off schedule and not working out just right. Two weeks after the babies were born, we started supplementing formula just in case I didn’t produce enough milk for two babies. (But that hasn’t been an issue as my milk has been great.) So, soon they’ll be solely on formula. As long as the babies are getting nutrients and are healthy and growing, that’s all we want! I was told a doctor said, "all babies really need are calories to grow!" So, as long as they are getting calories - that's good!

So, it turns out breastfeeding just isn’t for me. (At least this time...I'll think about trying it again if we have more children.) And there’s no shame in that. I tried and that’s all I could have done. I am now slowing starting to wean off pumping my breastmilk. I plan to take 2 weeks to do that. So that means the babies will have had breastmilk just for their first six weeks of life. And as they say, "every ounce counts!" so any little bit is good for the babies. And that’s okay with me.

I know that nursing can be a wonderful bonding time to both mom and baby. It’s something that is worth a lot of sacrifice and time. So, if it works for you, that is such a precious gift! (And trust me - I'm a little jealous!) But if that is not for you, there should never be any shame in bottle feeding formula. I know my sons aren’t going to grow up wondering why they weren’t solely breastfed! So I’m choosing to give a genuine smile as I’m bottle feeding them formula 8-10 times a day, rather than a forced, stressed, sad boob thrown in their face.

Ultimately, if it comes to a toss-up between giving your child the best nutrition (breastfeeding/pumping) and losing your mind trying to breastfeed(like it was for me!) or giving your child excellent nutrition (formula) and keeping your sanity – well, for me the choice was pretty straightforward. I can’t take care of two babies if I’m an emotional wreck, sobbing helpless in a corner. I know everyone says breastfeeding is best, but in the words of Catherine Connors, “Breast is best, but healthy, happy moms are better.” We all need to take care of ourselves in order to take care of our babies.

SHOWERED WITH LOVE!

I was definitely showered with love (many times)! During the whole summer of me being "out-to-here pregnant", everyone pampered me! My back was killing me, my feet were unbelievably swollen, and my cheeks ached from so much smiling at all my baby showers. But the support was amazing and I truly appreciate everyone's love and support. I am humbled and honored to have your friendship!

Here are just a few photos of my baby showers. I wish more had been taken so I had a photo of everyone in attendance. And so I could have posted your photo on my blog and bragged all about you and wrote just how much each and every one of you mean to me!

Vincelli Baby Shower


Kid's Korner Baby Shower


LWML Baby Shower(Lutheran Women's Missionary League)


Horizon Eye Care Baby Shower


Pipestone Baby Shower


Pipestone Baby Shower


Owatonna Baby Shower


Friends Baby Shower

MY DUE DATE IS TODAY!

Well, here it is, October 12th. My official due date for the twins and of course they're already here and 4 weeks old! It's hard to believe it happened this way!

We took the babies into the Amazing Newborn Clinic today to get weighed. Today Elijah weighs 7 pounds 11 ounces and Will weighs 7 pounds! They both gained one pound in one week! They're catching up. Great job, little men. We are so pleased!

Here's a photo of me and the babies on my due date! :)



And here's Daddy Nick reading Consumer Reports to Elijah. He's passing on his research and frugal skills already!

HOLY BAPTISM

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Matthew 28:19

MY LITTLE FAMILY


Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved. Mark 16:16

GODPARENTS!


PASTOR GREG AND PASTOR MARK - DOUBLE PASTORS FOR A DOUBLE BAPTISM!


He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by His grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. Titus 3:5-8

THE VINCELLI FAMILY (missing a runaway boy!)


We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may life a new life. Romans 6:4

THE COX FAMILY


THE CAKE!


What a glorious day for a double baptism! The twins were baptized at 20 days old today. Welcome to God's family, Elijah and Will! We were so thankful to have all of our family members here to join in the celebration. After the service, we gathered at our house for lunch and fellowship.

HOLY BAPTISM
Your heavenly Father willed that you not remain dead in trespasses and sin but come to new life in Him. In obedience to our Lord's command you have received Holy Baptism so that by the power of the Holy Spirit through water and the Word you might obtain the forgiveness of all your sin, deliverance from spiritual death and the devil, and the gift of eternal salvation. By Baptism God has made you a member of the holy Christian church, and His church, in turn, has acknowledged its responsibility for your further growth in Christian faith and knowledge and for your continue spiritual welfare.

12 DAYS OLD!

Here's a photo of the babies and I. I took this photo to show what size they were inside of my belly! Except here they are on the outside! And flipped around as they were both head down in the womb. Here they are at just 12 days old! They lost over 10% of their birth weight in the hospital so they're trying to gain it back by the the time they are 2 weeks old. (Elijah weighed 5 pounds 8 ounces at birth and Will weighed 5 pounds 3 ounces.) But as of today, Elijah weighs 5 pounds 1 ounce and Will weighs 4 pounds 12 ounces.

Since they're not quite back up to their birth weights yet, this does not even truly the size they were inside my womb when they were born at 35 weeks 6 days gestation. WOW! Two babies sure take up a lot of room! However did they fit inside of me...it's just amazing!

THE VINCELLI TWINS ARE IN THE NEWS!

Wow! The babies are just 5 days old and have already made their newspaper debut! Our little cuties are famous!

The twins were featured in the "Owatonna People's Press" newspaper along with the other two sets of twins born at the hospital this week. Yes, you read that correctly, there were THREE sets of twins born at the Owatonna hospital within just a few days of each other. This was such a rare occurrence, that they wanted to report it! In fact, there were 12 babies born while we were there in the hospital. The birthing center was booked and some patients/babies had to be moved over to another wing in the surgical area.

An interesting fact is that our twins are the oldest, yet the youngest! Sounds confusing, huh? They were born on September 13th before the other babies who were born a few days later, but since Eli & Will were born at 35 weeks 6 days gestation, they are technically younger than the other two sets of twins, who were born at 37 and 38 weeks gestation!

Check out the article online.
http://www.owatonna.com/news.php?viewStory=120688

Although I need to clarify a few mistakes the paper printed:
1.) The Vincelli Twins are not identical!
2.) The babies had very low blood sugar, not low blood pressure.
3.) We all know Nick wishes they were primarily of an Italian heritage, but that's not true. The truth comes right now as he's only a 1/4 Italian, so the twins are only an 1/8th! Of course we know our babes are the in the "Heinz 57" group too!
4.) We were not "well rested." HA!

Here are a few photos I took in the hospital nursery while the twins (another the other two sets of twins) were being photographed for the newspaper!

I'm not just saying this because I'm their mom - but they were definitely the cutest set of twins!!




You can see the babies were still attached to the pulse ox machines. (It measures the percentage of oxygen in arterial blood.)

WELCOME BABY BOY TWINS!

We are happy to announce our little precious miracle babies have arrived!

Welcome to the world, twin baby boys!

Elijah Kingsley ~ September 13, 2010 ~ 6:21pm ~ 5 pounds 8 ounces ~ 19 inches
Will Clarence ~ September 13, 2010 ~ 6:22pm ~ 5 pounds 3 ounces ~ 18.75 inches

Elijah and Will were born four weeks early (35 weeks and 6 days gestation) via c-section on their Grandpa Cox’s 62nd Birthday! Grandpa gets to have a birthday twin…or in this case – birthday twins…with his twin grandsons!

Elijah Kingsley is named after his great grandfather on Nick’s side, Kingsley Johnsen and Will Clarence is named after his great grandfather on my side, Clarence Cox.

Baby Boy A: Elijah



Baby Baby B: Will

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIJAH AND WILL!

The following was written weeks later in October, but it happened on September 13th!.....

After my doctor appointment on the morning of September 13th, as I was typing an update for the blog and scanning in our ultrasound photos to post, I got a phone call from my OBGYN. He said that more traces of protein were found in my urine from my urine sample I gave that morning. He asked me to come back in for a blood test and also to pick up supplies for a 24 hour urine sample.

I went back to the clinic and gave the blood sample and picked up the big plastic container to collect my pee for the next 24 hours. How fun! I arrived back home and urinated and collected my first sample! (Eeww!)

About an hour later, my doc called back again saying, “Well…you are having those babies today. We need you to come in because you’ll either be induced or have a c-section.” WHAT? I was in shock, to say the least. It was amazing to go from such a great doctor’s appointment just a few hours earlier, not thinking we’d have these babies for probably 3 more weeks - to suddenly being told to come right in and they’d be delivered as soon as possible.

He began explaining to me that my platelet levels were low from my blood test. He said around 140,000 are “normal” and mine were at 84,000. He said this was HELPP syndrome, which would lead to preeclampsia. HELLP syndrome stand for hemolysis - elevated liver enzymes - low platelet count.In HELLP syndrome, the mother’s liver may bleed and hemorrhage. (Not good!!) The only effective treatment is prompt delivery of the baby. If my levels dropped to 50,000, it would cause bleeding problems. He told me that it wasn’t dangerous right now and that was why we needed to have the babies come out in the next 12-24 hours, before it could change. He said it’d be our decision to either be induced or to decide on a c-section. Although he did caution that long labor would not be good with a bleeding issue. (And come to find out later that the Anesthesiologist only recommended the c-section because my platelet count was too low.) My OB said to come in to the hospital to get hooked up to machines to check on the babies and we’d proceed from there. He also told me that the good news was that I didn’t have to do the 24 hour urine sample anymore (ha ha…funny doctor!)

Nick was at work in Mankato (45 minutes away), so I called him right away to tell him to leave work. He was in shock just as I was! Next I called my sister, Jesse, and she came over to help me pack. Of course I didn’t have a bag ready, but I did have a list! We got everything together and she drove me to the hospital. Thank goodness, I don’t know if I could have handled it alone! Jesse teased me that I was calm and she was the one freaking out.

I have to give Nick some grief because it took him 2 hours to get to the hospital after I called him. He finished seeing a few patients like the good doctor that he is! (Seriously – we were going to have 2 babies…what the heck was he thinking!??!) I was at the hospital for about an hour or so before Nick arrived. They had already started an IV and my doctor had come in to explain more about the situation. The babies looked just fine on the monitors so all was so far so good. Nick arrived a few minutes after 5pm.

My OB came back in again after Nick arrived and explained everything again to him. I teased my doctor to just make the decision for us. I asked him, “If this was your wife, what would you tell her to do?” Of course he wouldn’t give me an answer. So…after much thought, we decided to go ahead and do a c-section. There were just too many factors that were against us. There was no guarantee I would deliver vaginally after being induced. And having a long labor would be dangerous to both me and the babies with my platelet levels as well. If we did the c-section right then, all the staff was already there. But if we were induced and had to do a c-section later in the night, it’d be harder to get all the staff there. And it’d probably have to be an emergency c-section and I would have to had been put out and wake up later not witnessing any of the birth. Or….the worst thing could happen – deliver one vaginally and then the second via emergency c-section.

After we decided, our doctor was pleased and he said that’s what he would have recommended in this situation. (Of course he can’t tell us that beforehand.) He said ultimately if you wanted to keep the babies safe, you’d always do a c-section and if you wanted to keep the mom safe, you’d always do a vaginal birth.

Once we said “c-section,” everything went FAST…and I mean FAST! Nick changed into his scrub getup; Jesse helped us make a few phone calls to family, then left. It was my dad’s 62nd birthday. So, it was pretty special that these babies were going to share the same birthday with their grandpa. I remember calling my dad saying, “Are you ready to share your birthday with your twin grandsons?” He didn’t seem to believe me!

I was taken away to the operating room to get my spinal. Nick said he was calling his brother at 6:05pm, then had to hang up because they were ready to bring him into the operating room. And Baby A was born at 6:21pm and Baby B at 6:22pm. Talk about getting things done efficiently! That was FAST!

The spinal went well. I didn’t even feel anything! They said it was done and I thought, “Really? I thought it was supposed to be painful!” They strapped me down on the table and my legs started getting numb fast. I remember being scared that they would start the surgery with me still being able to feel what was going on. I asked the anesthesiologist to make sure, so he pinched me again! There were so many people in there. Probably double for double babies! There was a doctor and 2 nurses for each baby. My OB, 2 nurses, and the anesthesiologist for me. And I think I saw at least 3 other people around, but I’m not sure what they were doing! That made for a total of 17 people…counting Nick, myself, and the two babies, of course!

While everything was happening I kept thinking to all the shows I watched on TV (“A Baby Story” and “Make Room for Multiples” both on TLC), comparing them to what I was going through right then in the operating room. When Nick came in, he sat by me with the video camera and digital camera ready to go. I remember the staff just talking about normal daily stuff while they were slicing and dicing me (eeww...that sounds disgusting!). It seemed just like a “fake TV show!” The time flew by (I always imagined it would seem like an eternity, but it didn’t) and before we knew it Baby A was out and I could hear the crying. As tears filled my eyes, I looked over to see him while they were cleaning and checking him out. I didn’t even feel a thing…no pressure or anything. Then one minute later, Baby B was out and more crying. It was a beautiful noise! I heard a nurse exclaim, “This was the coolest c-section ever.” They said it was because when they broke both bags of water, it was HUGE. There was a lot of liquid and it splashed everywhere on people and even out onto the floor all over the doctor’s feet!! (Glad I could cause some fun excitement for everyone!)

Also, after Baby A came out, my OB said, "You made a good decision about going with the c-section, Baby B just flipped!" After Baby A was out, that gave Baby B room to move and he did just that. He flipped around head up, into a breech position. If I had delivered vaginally and this happened, that would have caused for some interesting events. Either they would have had to try to move Baby B back into head down position from the outside or from the inside (ouch!). Or it could have made for delivering Baby A vaginally and Baby B emergency c-section, which would have been the worst case scenario!

Then, at this point of the c-section, I couldn’t breathe. The anesthesiologist told me this may happen. He said that I might feel as if I couldn’t breathe, but that I could “really” breathe just fine. It was just the nerves were not connecting with my brain from the drugs. That was the one of the craziest things I’ve ever felt. I was gasping for air thinking I couldn’t breathe, but ultimately I was breathing fine – it was just in my head. INSANE! Then I started feeling nauseous. I looked over and Nick was holding both babies wrapped up in blankies getting his photo taken. How precious!! And I was calling for someone to help me because I was going to upchuck right there on myself. How disgusting! It’s hard to throw up while laying down with your arms strapped. I just turned my head to the side and the anesthesiologist got the puke pan there just in time. Then lots of the staff left with the babies and Nick to go to the nursery to get them hooked up to oxygen and in the incubators.

So, there I was alone and my thoughts of having the babies held up next to me and getting our first family photo together never happened. I don’t remember much after this. I’m not sure how long it took to get me stitched back up and into the recovery room. I remember lying in the bed pushing the button to give myself more morphine and thinking how bad I wanted to see and hold the babies. After about 3 hours or so, after 9pm, the nurses finally let me get out of bed and into a wheel chair to go to the nursery to see the babies. I got to see them up close for the first time and hold their little hands through the holes in the incubators. I didn’t last long there, just a few minutes, as I started getting extremely weak and dizzy. (They don’t normally let you get up so soon after a major surgery!) I did throw up various times throughout the rest of the evening. I was pretty drugged up and out of it.

The rest of the night is pretty fuzzy. Nick’s parents came to visit around 11pm. I remember sleeping off and on mostly. Nick and I kept wondering about when the babies would finally be able to leave the nursery and come back in with us. We were worried as the time kept passing by. We had named the babies, but didn’t know who was who yet. We had wanted to look at them more and spend time with them to decide who was who. It was still “Baby A” and “Baby B.” But after the time kept passing, we just decided to just go alphabetical order. And so it was – even before I got to hold them, we named Baby Boy A - Elijah and Baby Boy B -Will.

Finally around 2am, about 8 hours after Elijah was born, he was able to come into the room with us. He was still hooked up to a machine to monitor his heart rate, etc. I barely remember holding him for the first time and nursing him, but there are photos to prove it! Then a little after 4am, 10 hours after Will was born, he joined us! He was also hooked up to the machine, but I held and breastfeed him as well. I ended up holding him most of the rest of the night. I do remember waking up still holding him, wondering if this was all really happening. The machines kept beeping off and on when the rates were off. We’d page the nurses and they’d come in to check on the babies.

And that was that. Our baby boys had arrived at 35 weeks 6 days gestation on their Grandpa Cox's 62nd Birthday! Our perfect little angels sent from heaven above are here!

Heading into surgery! (Check out the swollen legs and feet! OH MY!)


Waiting to have the babies!


A proud papa!


We're parents!


Touching Elijah for the first time!


Touching Will for the first time!


The first time I got to hold the twins together.