Throughout our infertility, as time went on, I found myself reaching out to many people. We didn’t try to keep infertility a secret. We wanted and needed love and support. We understood that not everyone would be comfortable knowing. And I know that not everyone who has infertility is going to be as open about it as I am. I’m not sure exactly why I’m not so shy about it, after all, it is a very intimate and personal part of someone’s life. But, I do know that by putting “myself” out there, I’ve found unexpected support from the most unexpected people. And what a true blessing that has been.
And on the contrary, we now know that the people we most thought would WANT to understand, really didn’t seem to want to understand at all. Maybe they didn’t have the time. Maybe they were afraid of what to say or how to act. Some individuals who were close to us, seemed to back away after finding out. I started feeling like I had an evil plague and if anyone talked with me about infertility, they might catch it too. Am I contagious or something?
It hurt to be cut off from friends. It hurt when people didn’t ask. It hurt when I started talking about infertility and they changed the subject. It hurt when I would email people, straight up telling them I was struggling and needed help, and never got a reply back.
Infertility isn’t contagious. You don’t have to say anything miraculous and philosophical. Just say something, because something is better than nothing…
Monday, September 14, 2009
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