There’s a book titled, “Infertility Sucks! (Keeping it all together when sperm and egg stubbornly remain apart.)” by Beverly Barna. I haven’t read it, but I can imagine it’d be a great one.
I came across the title online and it made me start to think about how Nick and I have kept it together. So, I’d like to tell you know Nick and I kept it all together during a time it felt like it was all falling apart…
Just like any other couple, we were quite unprepared for the journey of infertility. But I suppose you can’t ever really be prepared for something like this. We would have never chosen this for ourselves – but who would?
Many people just consider infertility to be stressful because someone can’t get pregnant. But there is so much more! Infertility tests and treatments are very physically, emotionally, and financially stressful and can oftentimes become entirely unbearable. Ultimately, it can put a great strain on your marriage and can cause a couple to grow apart. It can even cause a loving couple to separate or divorce.
The month after month of disappointments takes a toll on every aspect of your life. And who better than to take it all out on than your spouse, right? They’re there, they are part of what you’re each going through, so, it mine as well be them!
The infertility medications can make your hormones all out of whack. I had mood swings like you can’t even imagine. Poor Nick. I know there were many times I didn’t treat him well. And I don’t blame it ALL on the medications, I know there were things I could have stopped myself from saying and ways I could have stopped acting. I take responsibility for my “diarrhea of the mouth.” I’ve said things I’m definitely not proud of…things to intentionally hurt Nick so possibly he could maybe, just maybe, for a second feel just an ounce of the pain I felt. But after I said those things, I apologized. And I think he understood. He forgave me. I apologize a lot lately. And thankfully he forgives me a lot.
We keep it together by knowing that we’ll never be apart. Marriage is a lot about compromise. It should be full of a lot of giving and just a little taking. It’s about trust and support. It’s about working through the good and bad. It’s about always communicating. It’s never giving up. We remember our vows we made to each other on our wedding day, and we know that together, with God, we’ll make it through anything. Marriage is about love…unconditional love…and I know our love will never end…
Monday, December 14, 2009
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