ONE OF MY MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS, MY PILLOW.

I’ll let you in on an interesting fact about me. And for those of you who know me best, you already know that I absolutely adore my pillow. I take it with me everywhere overnight, except on flights. And I really don’t like it when other people try to use it or yet alone, even touch it. It’s weird, I know…but it’s true. I wouldn’t call it a fetish, but I definitely cherish it above most of my other physical possessions. It’s just the ideal pillow for me; perfect size, smooshieness, smell, temperature, and softness.

I had my ‘old’ perfect pillow for many years. I think I most likely had it since high school, so by the time I retired it in 2008, I had it for over 10 years. I know what you’re thinking, “That’s totally gross.” And it probably was, but I loved that thing. I didn’t care if people said it was full of bed bugs and germs. But one day in a silly rage of “infertility psychoticness,” I imagined that could be the cause of our infertility! So away it went. I found a new pillow to try out and was in shock. I loved it even more than my ‘old’ perfect pillow! And being the intelligent woman I am, I thought ahead and bought another of the exact pillow so I can switch it out before the next 10 years pass again!!

If you know me, you know I love to sleep. You know I’m not chipper in the mornings and that I don’t enjoy being woken up on other people’s terms. (I know that you’re thinking, “And she wants to have a baby!”) So you can definitely say - I’m NOT a morning person! In high school, my older sister, Jesse, would practically have to drag me out of bed each morning. She’d yell at me, “If you don’t get up right now, I’m never waking you up again.” I guess it worked because eventually I did get up. (Thanks, Jesse, for your years of torment!)

Some people had their baby blankets they were attached too while young. I never went through a phase like that. I sort of imagine that maybe I’m going through that phase just a little later in life. And instead of a blanket or pacifier giving me comfort, it’s my pillow! If you think about it, you really do spend a lot of time with your pillow. I’ve cried a lot of tears on that thing during these years of infertility.

I know that many people have a hard time sleeping when they’re stressed. I’ve never experienced insomnia and I think that would be awful. But sleeping for me = not…a…problem…at…all! 9 out of 10 times, I’m asleep night as my head hits the pillow. My problem is the waking up part. I could sleep in everyday if I let myself. And during these infertility years, I force myself to get up even though it would be way easier to just sleep through it all. But I know someday it will get easier.

Oh, and just so you don’t think I’m absolutely crazy – my youngest sister, Corrie, has a similar relationship with her pillow. So, don’t think I’m crazy, I guess it’s just part of our genetics! HA!