Our precious boys...

Our precious boys...

Monday, July 20, 2009

THE INTIMATE (Ha Ha!) SEX LIFE OF THE BABY-MAKING CHALLENGED

In the beginning trying to make a baby is fun! But as the months start passing, it quickly turns to no fun very rapidly. The intimacy that God intended for married couples now has an unwanted third party. Doctors are now involved in your sex life. Your intimate life is opened up and intruded upon, by doctors telling you exactly when and how often to have sex. Scheduled, programmed, regimented sex is exhausting and diminishes your intimacy. The passion and enjoyment start to fade fast.

You have to force yourself to be “in the mood” at those exactly perfect times, because if you don’t do it then, you’ll loose another month of trying. You find yourself waking up after 3 hours of crappy sleep, after falling asleep upset because you haven’t had sex yet like you were supposed to. You convince, coax, and beg your spouse to have intercourse when one or the other is definitely not in the mood. And all the while you try to not loose that fun and spontaneity! Ha!

I pee on an ovulation stick in the morning and BAM, it’s time. I’m ovulating! We need to take care of this now or yet another month is wasted! Let’s do this quick before we both head off to work. So, I find myself propping my buttocks up trying to keep it all in - all the while trying to figure out how exactly I’m going to lay here for at least 20 minutes and still have enough time to shower, dress, and get out the door to make it to work on time. Maybe I should just call in sick. Or is it okay to call in and instead of using today as a paid “personal day” or a paid “sick day,” can it be a paid “ovulation day.”?

For 2 years of our infertility, Nick traveled for work and was gone 2 or 3 nights every week. Needless to say, trying to make a baby is definitely a challenge when you’re both not in the same place at the right time! More than once, he made that 3 hour drive back home while I was ovulating, just so we wouldn’t have to miss yet another month. Now that is dedication. We probably would have met halfway and did it in the car if there was no other option. Thankfully it never came to that…

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