Vincelli: Party of 6

Vincelli: Party of 6

Friday, July 24, 2009


After you get married, it’s a common question for people to ask you when you’re going to have children. It’s an ordinary question used as a conversation starter or conversation filler. “So, when do you want to have kids?” It’s an innocent question. I’m guilty of asking that very same question myself before our infertility. (It’s crazy how a few months can really change one’s perspective on that!)

After the first year of infertility, I started getting tired of lying when people asked me that dreaded question. “When are you going to have children?” Normally I replied, “We’re just not ready yet.” We didn’t want to tell anyone the first year that we were even trying, because we figured we’d become pregnant in a few months anyway. And we wanted it to be a surprise. But of course, those months just kept passing and passing.

I know you’re not supposed to lie. I want to be a good Christian. But when someone asks you such a personal question – how else should you respond? My dad said I shouldn’t be lying when people ask us those questions. But all I could think was that I shouldn’t have to answer. And they shouldn’t even be asking. But by me not answering – it just brings up more questions and perhaps some incorrect assumptions. I finally started opening up, and when people asked me that question, I said, “In God’s time.” It was a good and honest answer, after all. And one that shared my faith. It was an answer I could feel good about and comfortable with. Honestly, it usually scared people enough where they changed the subject quite fast….and never asked again.

I keep telling myself we’ll get pregnant, “In God’s time.” I’m learning to trust more in God’s time. (I just really wish His time would go a little faster...)

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