Our precious boys...

Our precious boys...

Saturday, August 22, 2009

No, don’t say it, “THE TWO-WEEK-WAIT!”

Now comes the dreaded “two-week-wait.” Each month after ovulation, the wait to find out if you’re pregnant can be extremely nerve-racking. Every little thing seems to become a distinct sign as to if you’re pregnant or not pregnant. “I’m not having any nausea, so I’m not pregnant” or “My breasts are really sore, I must be pregnant!” You begin to analyze every little thing and think it has some connection to pregnancy.

One of the hardest things about all the fertility drugs is that oftentimes the symptoms and side effects mimic those of a pregnancy. Talk about a horrible trick. It’s as if your body’s telling you, “You are totally pregnant – you’ve got the symptoms and you totally feel like it.” I notice my breasts are super sore. Yippee! (At least I think they are!) I have to pee again and didn’t I just go to the bathroom 5 minutes ago? Yes! (Or is it just because I drank a lot of water today?) I’m craving ice cream again. (Oh wait, that’s just my normal craving anytime of any day all year long!)

Surviving this is tough. You try not to think about it, but yet you can’t get it out of your head and everything seems to remind you of it. It also doesn’t help that you have to literally “pretend” you’re pregnant, just in case you really are because you don’t want to harm your “maybe baby” in any way. No alcohol, no hot baths, no cold meat, etc. And unfortunately, it takes that 2 whole weeks to find out. In today’s world, where we’re used to having everything right away, with information so readily available, it seems odd that we have to wait so long to find out something that’s so important.

Each time a period is a couple days late, your hope rises. Only to fall again. That negative test is a reminder of all those feelings of emptiness, sadness, and grief over the void created by infertility. Then that horrible day comes and you get your period. Then you hope it’s just implantation spotting that may occur in pregnancies. You get your hopes up and then you are devastated when it really is your period. Your body says to you, “Ha ha, sucker – fooled ya again - you’re NOT pregnant!!” But I guess if I look on the bright side – I’m so in tune with my body! I totally notice if anything ever changes!

Well, I did survive yet another 2-week-wait. Guess I’ll look forward to this all over again next month…

No comments:

Post a Comment