Our precious boys...

Our precious boys...

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

TODAY IT’S A STRUGGLE

This struggle, this journey…call it whatever you will. But today, for me … it’s a struggle. It’s a struggle to want to accomplish anything. But I do. I don’t feel like getting out of bed, maybe I’ll just sleep through the morning. I may feel weak, but I know somewhere inside of me I’m strong. Today I’m sad and unmotivated. I wonder if I should just stop trying.

I feel like I’m not deserving enough to be a mother anyway. Why do I feel this way? And more importantly, why can’t I make that feeling stop? Today I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t really want a baby anyway. Maybe I’m not going to be a good mom. Perhaps we should just stop trying altogether. Today’s my pity party.

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