Saturday, September 29, 2012
MOMS OF MULTIPLES!
First of all, my belated apologies for this post. I was going to post it months ago, but one day I went back to do my final proofreading and it was gone. Ugghh...I know I can't remember everything I wrote and this one just isn't as good. I'm still upset about it. I'm not sure if I did something or if it was a computer error on the blog, but my post was gone. And I had to re-write it all over. Lesson learned. I will always save my posts to Word Document as well.
Jen, Stacy, Bree, Kelly, Holly, Heather, Heidi, and Nicole - this is for YOU!
There's a very special group of women out there. I am amazed at these women and I am humbled by them. They seem like super heroes to me. But deep down, I know they are just normal women...mothers who love their children with all their hearts. It's that simple.
There is one part that isn't "that" simple.
Because, they aren't just mothers.
They are mothers...
These special women all birthed twins. Some boy/boy, some girl/girl, and some boy/girl. We all have twins because of different reasons. Some had twins with no medical assistance. Some have In-Vitro twins, after years and years of trying. Some have In-Vitro twins from donor sperm. Another has IUI twins from donor sperm. One has TWO sets of twins, with one set being step-children. And another is a mommy to angel baby twins in heaven, born at 24 weeks gestation, who both lived just an hour on earth, but live on forever in the hearts of many.
Some of these mothers of multiples are friends from college. But others I met in more interesting ways...
I met Nicole at the grocery store where I live and she later searched for me by posting on facebook to offer her help. She asked if anyone knew the couple who just had twin baby boys because she wanted to get in touch with them. Amazingly enough, we had a mutual friend and we connected. The power of facebook!
I met Heidi via Craig's List after selling her some of my twin items. Turns out we went to the same college for one year and she was in the same dorm as my husband and they were acquaintances. There are many other things we have in common and I'm so thankful to have kept in touch. Soon after we met in the summer of 2011, Heidi's baby twins were born at 24 weeks gestation and are now dancing in heaven with Jesus. After 5 ectopic pregnancies and the passing of her baby twins, Heidi and her husband are expecting a baby girl in December from their gestation carrier. Praise God!
But perhaps the funniest story of all is Heather. She was a pregnant mommy of twins in my neighborhood and saw us walk by with the double infant stroller. She proceeded to get in her car to chase us down and stopped to chat with us. Even though they moved out of town a year later, we keep in touch and share twin stories. We joke that her little twin girls, about 5 months younger than Eli and Will, would make great wives for them! If it's true love, the distance won't matter!
Some of our twins were born full term and were big babies. Some of ours were born premature and were little babies. And some were born very very premature and were the tiniest of babies. One set of twins was even born 2 weeks apart at 24 weeks and 26 weeks. Who says twins always have to be born on the same day?
Our experiences have all been very different, just as any mother with children. But there is one special thing that is exactly the same. We are mothers of twins. And that deserves an award all by itself. We have that "multiples bond" of knowing that we are a chosen few. And even though at times, it can really really rough and we want to give up, we push on. We just want a break and want to know what it's like to just carry around one baby. But thankfully, there are double the joys and we keep moving forward with the unconditional love for these precious little people!
These women have taught me to take it one day at a time. They've taught me it doesn't matter if your house is clean, it doesn't matter if you didn't put make-up on, and most of all, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I've had to repeat that to myself many times:
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!!
It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!!!
There seems to be certain "rules" you should follow with children, but that all gets thrown out when you are dealing with multiples! And they reassured me that this is okay. People say, "Never wake a sleeping baby." But moms of multiples say, "Go ahead and wake up that sleeping baby!"
These women are AMAZING! I am so grateful for their guidance. Many of them have no idea how much they've truly helped me. I don't even know if any of them knew that I went through some dark times with post-partum depression. But they each helped me. I've picked their brains asking for guidance on anything and everything TWINS, even before the boys arrived. And they've all been more than willing to talk to me or email me, even though they were extremely busy with their own multiples.
Oh, the unending questions I asked:
How does double breastfeeding work?
Did you get them on the same feeding schedule?
Why can't they just SLEEP?
Did you wake up one twin when the other woke up to eat?
Did you get them on the same sleeping schedule?
How long did you let them sleep together in the same crib?
Will I ever get sleep again?
What double stroller do you recommend?
Am I going crazy?
Okay...you get the idea...
Well, we've survived the stares, the unwelcomed advice, and the lovely greetings of, "Double Trouble." We are warriors! We are moms of multiples!
Dear Jen, Stacy, Bree, Kelly, Holly, Heather, Heidi, and Nicole:
Thank you for giving me advice, supporting me, and encouraging me. You've all been honest and let me know it's hard, but you've also given me hope to know that each stage is different with new joys. And that day by day, God will give us the strength. You've believed in me as a mother especially when it was so hard to believe in myself. And I am forever appreciative for your kindness. Seriously, you have no idea! My heart overflows with joy each time I think of you!
We are a special group of women, we are MOMS: Mothers of Multiples.
Oh, and be excited ladies, because I'm pretty sure that God has a very special place reserved for us in heaven. :)
The Mother Of Twins
A meeting convened one day
in Heavens sacred hall.
The Ideal mother must be found
for twins so sweet and small.
She must be patient, first of all,
And kind and calm and wise.
And capable of chasing tears
away from little eyes.
She'd have to put her children first
And be so very smart
Have dedication and resolve,
A sweet and loving heart.
They all agreed you were the best
No other mom would do.
Yes, Heaven found the perfect one
And sent those twins to you.
And here are photos of our precious twins within their few weeks of life:
Josiah & Arielle
Audrey & Lillian
Carter & Logan
Marlowe & Greyson
Owen & Grant
Elijah & Will
And a special note to Heidi:
I think of your precious angel twins often. I picture them in heaven and try to imagine what they are doing. I'm not sure exactly what that is, but I do know they are in the most amazing place being held by the arms of Jesus safely waiting until the days they will be reunited with you and Aaron. Perhaps they swapping stories with relatives who have gone before you and they are playing with their other siblings! Charlie and Savannah are happy, they are safe, and they are loved. I know we'll never understand why they couldn't stay on earth. But we trust and we have faith. Our time on earth is so temporary. Your eternal lives together will be perfect.
Thank you for sharing this precious and private photo of your sweet babies.
Charlie & Savannah
Posted by Amy Cox Vincelli