Our precious boys...

Our precious boys...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I’M TIRED…

I’m tired of being angry. I’m tried of going to the doctor. I’m tired of insensitive remarks. I’m tired of preparing for the unknown. I’m tired of hearing someone’s announcement of an unexpected, unwanted pregnancy. I’m tired of vaginal ultrasounds and blood tests. I’m tired of the disappointments. I’m tried of someone complaining about how they’re pregnant again. I’m tired of pills and shots. I’m tired of hearing pregnant women complain about how fat they are. I’m tired of feeling left out. I’m tired of asking “why”. I’m tired of probabilities and percentages. I’m tired of feeling like I don’t fit it. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of hearing people say abortions are okay. I’m tired of people wanting me to volunteer so much because I supposedly have all the time in the world since I don’t have kids to take care of. I’m tired of options and precautions. And as horrible as it sounds, I’m tired of everyone else’s good news.

I don’t know if it’s going to get any easier. But I think the way I choose to cope with it will get easier. We all have our own crosses to bear. Infertility may very well be my biggest cross to bear that I’ll ever come across on this earth. And even though I know I’m tired…I know I’ll get through this.

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