Vincelli: Party of 6

Vincelli: Party of 6

Friday, August 28, 2009


It’s so difficult to know when enough is enough. It’s hard to know when to take the next step. Or even to know what that next step actually is. It’s a personal decision and only you and your spouse can figure out. Because only you truly knows how you feel. Infertility testing and treatments are a long, intensive, and expensive process. It’s bound to produce anxiety and frustration!

For me, it was difficult to want to take a break because of time running out. Time is running out with my COBRA health insurance. And in general, my biological clock is ticking! Time is literally running out. So why should I even consider slowing down a taking a break? But then it seemed where it came to the point where I’d had it. Your mind and body scream, “STOP!” You’re dreading going in for another appointment and you just want to stop going to the doctor for a while. After all, you’ve also forgotten what spontaneous sex is and would love to experience it again!

Taking a month or two break here and there can be a wonderful thing. Don’t be afraid to take a break from those medical treatments. Rejuvenate and focus on yourself for a while. Focus on the great things about you…instead of focusing everything that’s “wrong” and why you can’t make a baby. Have fun! Do something unexpected and exciting!

Or if a couple has decided to stop treatments…
Here is a short article by Vita Alligood (found on

Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments by Vita Alligood

No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes.

Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again.

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